Blanking out when talking about yourself

Post Reply New Topic

Does anyone else get this?

Recently I've been pressured into several new social situations (meeting new people one on one) and I am fine with saying hello and being pleasant, asking them about themselves and listening while they talk. I seem to listen too hard and suddenly they ask about me and it's jarring. I don't even know the answers. Then I come off a bit crazy because I don't know the answer to basic questions like what I do for a living or where I live or how long I've been in this state, etc. I stare blankly and just this evening I actually said "I don't know" and the person laughed at me.

I mean if *I* don't know how long I've lived here, who would know that? Of course I do know the answers to the questions but I have to think about it and I have to switch out of listening (hard) mode to thinking and responding mode.

Normally my brain is very overactive - I'm a fast thinker and not slow to talk but in the case of meeting new people this always happens. I find the most simple questions to be nearly impossible to deal with

I need to know if others have the same problem?

Yeah, I'm the same way. I get really unnerved and kind of draw blanks when talking about myself. I'll usually try to deflect the conversation away or end it.

Oh, yes! - the first counsellor that I ever saw pointed out that I answered almost everything with "I don't know".

Rather like you say, I think I often use the phrase not because I really don't know, but as a way to "buy some time" for me to switch my brain to a different mode - to become present in the conversation. The words of the phrase "I don't know" are less important than having just anything to say to stall the other person for a moment - and after a while becomes almost a reflex action.

The only advice I can offer is to try and find some other phrase to use that is less likely to sound out of place. I'll try to say things like "Oh, I'm sorry, you caught me daydreaming, can you repeat the question?" - which is less likely to be perceived as 'stupid', and in many ways is more honest as well, but without having to mention autism directly. It takes practice to get used to using a different response, but it does seem to make conversation flow a little better if you can master it.