How in the hell does one meet people outside of school?

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Pabalebo
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26 Feb 2013, 1:23 am

So.... have come to the conclusion that all of my friends fall into one of two categories as far as how I met them:

1.) People I met through a school (either college or high school) activity of some sort.
2.) People I met through the people in category #1.

I have no idea how to meet people outside of either of these categories. Considering that I've applied for jobs literally all over the country, and will obviously no longer be in school, meeting people through the channels that I have been using will, obviously, no longer be viable. Any suggestions?


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auntblabby
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26 Feb 2013, 2:06 am

lots of people meet others at work.



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26 Feb 2013, 2:13 am

That is what I am wondering, unfortunately I dont have the answer :(

The only other way, I've met people is online.

Im sure there are ways but my aspieness fails me, I cant help it, I just dont have certain mechanistic pathways in my brain.



Stargazer43
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26 Feb 2013, 2:31 am

I've noticed that most people only meet their friends through: school, work, and friends. It seems that most people make the majority of their friends through other friends, so starting out from scratch is the hardest part.

You can try joining a organization around you, maybe volunteering or running or something. I'm sure there's a couple!



BTDT
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26 Feb 2013, 7:08 am

Special interest clubs can be worth joining-.

Here are some that I can think of

Birdwatching
Hiking
Ham Radio
Gardening
RC planes, cars, and boats
Rockets
Mensa

Helping out a museum can also be a way to meet people--they always need volunteers!



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26 Feb 2013, 6:41 pm

BTDT wrote:
Helping out a museum can also be a way to meet people--they always need volunteers!


I may very well check this one out in the near future...thanks! :)


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Vectorspace
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26 Feb 2013, 9:35 pm

Many people go to parties for exactly that reason. But I've never done that.

For Aspies, finding groups of people with similar interests might be most promising.

Volunteering, church, etc. might work, too. You will definitely meet people there, but they will not necessarily be similar to you.



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26 Feb 2013, 9:46 pm

Vectorspace wrote:
For Aspies, finding groups of people with similar interests might be most promising.


But that's part and parcel of the problem in the first place! I really dunno of anyone else in "real life" who's obsessed with Medieval archaeology, for starters... :P :wink:


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MountainLaurel
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26 Feb 2013, 10:58 pm

School is the golden age for many as to making friends. It was for me, certainly.

Work becomes a natural stand in, once out of school.

I have met and made enduring friendships with neighbors. Gardeners will often bond and the setting works; being outside at home a lot; other gardening neighbors stop by and the conversation piece is the setting itself.

I live in an old condo complex with lots of grounds; lawns, streams, mature trees, pond and summer pool. It boarders a great swamp and preserve woodland, so there's lots of wildlife. Neighbors walk, fish, swim and look at wildlife here. I have made close and casual friends here in the complex.

Some of my close friends are from church.

I've heard that dog walking attracts friends and I believe it. I'm pretty sure that my daughter's dog, Crosby, has more friends than I do. When he travels up from SC he has at least 3 families that invite him (and my daughter by extension) to stay at their place in the MD/Wash DC area. When I travel south I have to stay in a motel in MD or VA.



Pabalebo
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26 Feb 2013, 11:00 pm

The good thing about me is that I'm attempting to get a job that involves my particular special interest, namely, meteorology. I will be graduating with a meteorology degree in May, and the wonderful thing about meteorology is that there are a LOT of people in the field that are at least as obsessed with weather as I am, as well as a LOT of people that I suspect are also Aspies.


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Pabalebo
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26 Feb 2013, 11:01 pm

Also, I do like the idea of joining the local road runner's club wherever I end up. A lot of my friends at present are people I've met through track/XC or people I've met through those people.


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MountainLaurel
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26 Feb 2013, 11:34 pm

Oh, Pab is the OP here. Sorry for the old gardener answer. But when you move, keep an eye out for a living situation that may yield some nice acquaintances.

Friends in the hood are very convenient if you can get them. Gathering for evening BBQ dinners at someone's grill with a few beers is so easy going for making friends. (Get a grill.)

In an urban setting, maybe look for a neighborhood with some gathering place sort of pubs where you might encounter a regular crowd.

At the indoor pool where I swim; the tri-athletes all seem to know each other; they have formed a club here in town. This area also has an active cycling club.

Having an art background in college, when I was in my 1st job out of college, I was invited into a group of artists to chip in for a live drawing model each Wed night at a sign painter's shop. We stood around at our easels and drew for a hour or so, then went out together. I met my ex through the sign painter (who's still a close friend - they both are.) So, yeah, special interest clubs.

Friends of mine that settled in PA/DE area became members of a food co-op (kind of a health food store where the members work 1 day/mo and get wholesale buying privileges) yielded a lot of friends and acquaintances for them.



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26 Feb 2013, 11:52 pm

Do you like dogs? I ask because, runners who have dogs run every morning. I assume that would not be a complete stand in for for cross country running, but it does compel one to get out every single morning. Sort of a natural antidote to too much drinking too late too often on week nights. A guy could do worse than having a handsome friendly dog during the cool down walk; gives women an excuse to pause and say hi to you.



WrongWay
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27 Feb 2013, 2:18 am

I've been thinking about this as well. You can still follow your interests and meet people that way (for me I've met some of my friends through playing chess). Also you'll meet people when you work (depending on what you do, you could meet people outside of your workplace through contacts that way).


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Pabalebo
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27 Feb 2013, 3:06 pm

Thanks for the advice everyone. I had kind of been thinking along similar lines. My parents don't really have any friends, because they're both absolutely batshit crazy and can't stop fighting even when company is around (and sometimes even get into arguments with the people they invite over), but I have an aunt and uncle that are pretty good role models for how to make friends with your neighbors. As far as making friends at work or in a running club or something, I assume that goes pretty similarly to how to do it in school.


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27 Feb 2013, 3:07 pm

I should probably not be commenting in this thread, because I really don't have any idea how to make friends in "real life." Never have. :(


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