Eye contact and concentration

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The pragmatics (how on topic) oral exam the other day was a bit too stressful.

I was anxious and on the verge of a panic attack, as usual, but the most difficult thing was to have to concentrate both on what I was saying, and on maintaining eye contact with the two supervisors at the same time. I felt I could concentrate only on one of these. When I tried to do both, everything became confused; it was a little like perceiving the things around me in disconnected shreds, if that makes some sense. I also became very strained in my gestures and the way I directed my gaze, because I couldn't pay enough attention to them - too much of it was going into the words.

I gazed at the table most of the time, making sharp constrained gestures with my hands which probably looked very clumsy. Then, when I managed to look up, I ended up staring at one of the supervisors, with her looking at me with her head cocked very noticeably backwards, and her eyes narrowed and having that "what on earth is the matter with you....eh?" look. Once I caught myself doing that, I had difficulty looking away from her and still continuing to speak. I never managed to shift my eyes to the other supervisor.

I've also noticed I have this problem generally when I talk about something that matters to me. The more personal and important it is, the more I need to focus on what I talk about alone, rather than on the person I'm talking to (which could mean looking at the table, out the window or at some object instead, and maybe stopping to gesture in a usual way too). When I have to talk about such things in public and/or to unknown people, it's worst, - panic setting in doesn't help much either, - but it happens with friends just as well. I wonder how odd it looks when I stop facing whom I was talking to, and sit staring into spot just in front of me and talk.

I wonder, does anybody else has the same problem, when eye contact doesn't seem as much disturbing as it is distracting, and doesn't let you talk as well as you want about something?

I know what you mean, and that's probably why I don't make eye contact much. I just can't talk to the person and look at them at the same time, so I'm usually looking elsewhere. One time I noticed when I was talking to someone they had this pin on and I was staring at that the whole time.

I sometimes find this hard. I really have to concentrate to look at someone and talk to them at the same time. The other day ,someone was trying to use me as a scapegoat for their cock up, and so was telling me off. They said to me 'look at me when you talk to me'. At this point I told them I was an Aspie and that I find it hard to do the two at once especially when someone is trying to intimidate me and use me as a scapegoat. I then said he can either listen to what I'm saying or we ould have a staring contest. He then shut up

I can't look at someone and speak at the same time. It's either one or the other, and usually I take talking over eye contact, because it's more fun, generally speaking.

I have same problem. If I try hard to do the eye contact thing then I have little if any recall of what was actually said to me. If I am looking at them I am more likely to say weird things that make no sense or will start stuttering struggling to find the right words. Its so weird how that happens. I mean it makes no sense to me why I can't function if I look at someone but its like the brain short circuits.