I had a bad childhood, for starters I had a step dad who would physically and mentally abuse me over the most petty shyt from age 9-16, I had a mom who was a whore and a father who constantly attacked me for being "different". Then I went to school and had to deal with social anxiety and teasing because I was different and had bizarre interests like UFO's, Space, and Ecology. On top of all this my step family would treat me like a ret*d. As a result I developed AvPD on top of my Aspergers. I started working, going to school, even moved out and got an apartment but none of that cured my Agoraphobia and Anxiety. I've made some progress, im no longer depressed and I have improved my social skills however its nearly impossible for me to maintain a romantic or even Platonic relationship. Lets say Im at a social gathering and this girl smiles at me from across the room, my reaction is not to go and introduce myself but to look away rapidly and freak her out. I can talk to people about mundane things I guess but Its very hard for me to make a connection. Tonight I was invited to a Church youth event and the people were between the ages of 18-30, I talked to a few people but I felt very uncomfortable and I wanted to leave because there were several hundred people and I couldnt take it. I ended up leaving early even though it was a great opportunity for me to open up these people were very kind and understanding. AvPD cost me so many jobs and relationships is there any cure? I tried affirmations, I tried praying, nothing seems to work my quality of life is shyt.
03 Apr 2013, 10:21 pm
