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charlulz
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28 Apr 2013, 6:14 pm

I have a huge issue when it comes to staring. I always find myself accidentally gazing at somebody. I've scared multiple people and gotten disgusted or mean looks because of it. Sometimes I don't know that I'm staring at somebody and they come up to me and say something like "what are you looking at" or at times things way more rude and hurtful (been compared to a serial killer before because of my blank face, i assume the combination of constant staring and a blank face is extremely unsettling).

Is there a way I can fix this issue, even when I dont realize im staring at somebody? It's really making it hard for me to make friends and it's making me seem like a creeper and I am the farthest thing from that..


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Your Aspie score: 178 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 26 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


managertina
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28 Apr 2013, 7:25 pm

There is nothing easier than making a conscious effort to remember to look away every few seconds. Sorry. I used to do the same thing. I have to remember to look away too. I was actually asked once if I had epilepsy. Apparently looking off into the distance can be taken for a petit mal seizure. :)



eric76
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28 Apr 2013, 9:20 pm

I have that problem on occasion, particularly in crowded restaurants. Instead of looking at the people I'm talking to, I'm looking past them but paying no attention to where I'm looking at even though my gaze tends to fix on one spot.

There is very little pattern to the targets of my unintentional staring -- they can be of any age and either sex; they may look very odd or they might look completely conventional; they may be eating alone or they may be eating with a large crowd. One mild pattern is that the unintentional target is more likely to be all the way across the restaurant instead of the next table.

After a while, I'll suddenly realize that someone (or everyone) at another table is staring back uncomfortably at me.

If I'm at the restaurant alone, I seem to be much less likely to stare at anyone.

That's one reason why I don't usually eat at restaurants. When I do go to a restaurant, it is usually to get an order to go which I take it back to the office to eat. If I can't do that, I prefer to either go some place that is not crowded or to sit in a position where I'm looking out the window. On the other hand, I hate to have my back to everyone. Another option that I use is to take something to read so that I have something to look at.



Mitrovah
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28 Apr 2013, 10:46 pm

charlulz wrote:
I have a huge issue when it comes to staring. I always find myself accidentally gazing at somebody. I've scared multiple people and gotten disgusted or mean looks because of it. Sometimes I don't know that I'm staring at somebody and they come up to me and say something like "what are you looking at" or at times things way more rude and hurtful (been compared to a serial killer before because of my blank face, i assume the combination of constant staring and a blank face is extremely unsettling).

Is there a way I can fix this issue, even when I dont realize im staring at somebody? It's really making it hard for me to make friends and it's making me seem like a creeper and I am the farthest thing from that..


i do this too. one way is to just keep staring forward, people will more than likely think you are focused on something else and that they simply came into the line of sight... that is how i manage to get "away" with my staring habit as much as i try not to do it.
I know i have seen looks of people faces as if they think im about to pounce and go medieval on their ass. i guess its because Im the sort that really wears emotions on the face. I would be a great and terrible actor i suppose



Marky9
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28 Apr 2013, 10:53 pm

Yep, I have to watch myself not to stare at people. Not sure why I do that. I hear most communication is non-verbal and I sense that I am trying to read their face. But that could have as much to do with being the adult child of an alcoholic as with ASD. To prevent it from happening I will either read something, fiddle with my smartphone, or in a meeting start doodling.



MjrMajorMajor
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28 Apr 2013, 11:21 pm

Marky9 wrote:
Yep, I have to watch myself not to stare at people. Not sure why I do that. I hear most communication is non-verbal and I sense that I am trying to read their face. But that could have as much to do with being the adult child of an alcoholic as with ASD. To prevent it from happening I will either read something, fiddle with my smartphone, or in a meeting start doodling.


I catch myself doing the same, almost trying to find a way to get a "read" on someone. I'm usually trying to get a read on body language, and trying to gauge their mood or intent. I suppose most people can take these things in with a glance, but I usually am stuck with my best guess.



Kinme
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29 Apr 2013, 2:05 am

Try to direct your gaze more toward the floor or at their feet. Not at their chest/face/etc. Maybe look in the direction of the wall.