Late emotional suppport

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Hi:
Today I got together with a close and sincere friend and spent the afternoon with her. It was during our visit that we sat and talked about things that we had both struggled with.

I happened to be struggling with forgiving a childhood friend who I had several falling outs with. I have been working on letting her go. As I have been doing that, I recently thought about several red flags that kept popping up during our regular time together.

For instance, I realized that A) My friend and her parents kept making plans with me and backing out at the last minute B) None of them ever were happy to see me.

I talked mostly situation about A and found that I while I miss my friend that this friendship house really did not really have much to offer.

I was not trying to live in the past but really aim at reading people and certain situations when they are not interested in you when the friendship still looks hot.

Do you ever do this with your current friends who you relate to?

always, it seems.

NTs are weird, my observation is that they give the nonverbal cues in the mico-moments AFTER they say/communicate something or make a physical expression. this is the short period of time that they can clarify their intention but is much too soon to be a "shot apology" (you know, those things ppl do when they wanna stop you from zapping back at them).

It's almost as if the talking or whatever was just to get your attention in time for the real message.
watch late and watch sloppy, they don't give cues in anywhere near the detail that we can perceive them, they're messy AND the message comes after, that is why we get confused.
We're too fast and detailed for them.

I'm looking at a brick building (intentionally designed with about a dozen different colors of bricks) with a dirty tan building directly behind it (taller).
Imagine an NT saying, "Look at the brown building!" even pointing.

the correct answer is to be nearsighted and sloppy in examining their definitions


Now pay attn to what your 'friends' are saying, and they will tell you (you'll see through it). =)
and/or examine if they seem to be trying to make you feel better or trying to make you feel worse.

there's only so much 'hostile bonding' any person can handle and NTs know that too, they know when they should quit and if they don't quit, then there's your sign.

I came to realization of their situation that they often seemed to say things that felt good at the time and then when they pulled out, it was usually a day or day of as far as plans go. I am thinking that the day came around and they thought, " I don't feel like company but I don't want to hurt her feelings."

For instance, there was one time where my friend were planning a sleep over weekend together and both her parents knew about it. She was set to call me back at night once she got home. I picked up the phone and my friend was on the other end but she was very short. "Listen, I am not in trouble or anything but my grandparents are in town. See ya," (Parphrased). Then she hung up as to where she left me crying.

There was a year after that where her mother was supposed to pick me up for to sleep up for my friend's birthday and never showed up. So I called and I got, "No, I am sorry I cannot come get you." I asked, "Are you low on gas?" "No, I can only drive so far period because I get tired at the wheel easily." I knew it was a lie because had planned on driving two hours to the north for the camping trip.
'
I handed the phone over to my mom and she had a different story that she was waiting for her son to come home from daycare. She also said that she would call me once she was on her way. She never did but my friend called me and again asked for my parents to bring me. My parents were furious because the mother said yes to mine and no to me when it came to picking me up,

Again, just talking about the very roots of the relationship reminded me of how faulty they were for the relationship period/