Social skills, Aspergers and The Truth
Because if we want to REALLY think about it. Social skills are all about "how to make others like you and do whatever you want". And IF you happen to be socially impaired you usually don't stand a chance... it tells definently a lot which skills are most valuable in life, when we consider the fact that unemployment rate is 70% belong Aspies even though we have SAME avg IQs than neurotypicals. (Read Tony Attwood's guide if ya don't believe)
People always imagine things which aren't true and best manipulator wins it all becuase of that fact... if you happen to be impaired in any other cognitive skill (like math of whatever), it can be easily bypassed, but if you happen to be socially ret*d, well you have to be a some kinda superstar to be accepted by society...
Of course there is no need for self deception (hey I am socially ret*d but GUESS WHAT, I have some super talents but hey I am 25yrs old and I don't have a job and live with my parents)... we don't even know that some intellectual greats in our history truly had Asperger's. Personally I think that ppl with high-end IQs are minority in Aspie community just like NTs. Ppl with Asperger's just often WANT TO BELIEVE that almost every intellectual great just has to have Asperger's.
Or think about it, why ppl with Asperger's are often interested in intellectual, solitary activites EVEN THOUGH they have same avg IQs than NTs? Because they want to believe that they are more intelligent because they are rejected by their peers, but truly they aren't.
Yes there are no exact magical "social rules". Aggression and initiative are the keys, if ya don't socialize you can't win... but the REAL reason are not magical "social rules", it's your neurology!!
And there are some who "don't want to get cured". After all, that's great uniqueness isn't it? f**k you, you f*****g stupid idiot, it is a disability, and you better learn that fast!! ! Of course you do everything you can to "remove it or at least treat it".
Yeah nothing against Aspies really. I'm just god damn bored about that self deception and common opinion in Aspie community that it's "great".
And one question to think about; Autism was RARE until mass vaccination programs, about 1 in 10,000 had it before that. Now the ratio is as high as 1/50 at worst in some areas!! !! !! ! So fellas, is Autism and it's derivatives really inherited or not?
arnoldmcguire335
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I'm assuming "depression" was rare before psychology got popular, too. Now like, what, 1/3 people are "depressed" or something, too. If someone had low functioning autism, they'd just be considered mentally ret*d. If someone had HFA, they'd just be like "yeah that guy's a dick but he can repair clocks or something." Also, I do believe it's overdiagnosed. Lots of people ARE just shy or introverted or whatever and get an AS diagnosis.
Anyway, I do MOSTLY agree with your post. My whole life has been spent getting really good at everything to offset my poor social skills.
lelia
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Social skills are all about making people do what you want? Don't think so. That sounds more like sociopathy.
So what you're saying is that social skills are useful and autism is a disability?
Duh.
_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I
what I say is: Be careful in choosing who you think you want to like you or are willing to trust really likes you because you may find out that something else is happening and you may find that "something else" really disturbing or traumatic.
Social skills are not all about winning popularity contests and being liked. They are very often just about being able to cope with a wide variety of personalities and survive.
People with Asperger's (often cross-referenced as "High Functioning Autistic") are often at a disadvantage because they ARE truthful. I've only "come out" about being autistic a little more than four years ago and have had some of the most screwed up so-called "normal" people on Earth cheat me out of money for physically or intellectually demanding work they won't or cannot do, openly lie to me about their feelings for me and "all they've done for me", pretend great insult toward them from me where none has actually occurred and when I've reminded them (as they cry at the drop of a hat because they swear are clearly mistreating by ME and I am asking them in a calm way their rationale for treating me badly when I have done them no harm and they attempt to bait me by telling me I am "cold") that I am Autistic and have this same person further insult me by accusing me of USING the fact that I am Autistic to not buy into their BS or agree to work for them for slave wages and express gratitude to them "for all they've done."?!?
...they do not allow me to finish the SENTENCE! "I am Autistic and I could call you names, just as you call me names and every time you ignore something I tell you NOT to do, I could very loudly put you down. And in fact, I have entrusted you with information which you have no right to use in ANY way to investigate me or contact anyone from my past, yet you are mentioning one of my relatives who was very negligent toward me and this violates my RIGHTS and I am considering contacting the police about you. You with your false tears and your lies about how well you've treated me --- I'd really love to knock you flat on your fat, lazy, selfish ass...but I cannot. Because every time someone with Autism loses their cool? That's news, baby. Every time one of you normal S.O.B.s robs, steals, cheats and does harm to one of us? It''s an ordinary day. Oh yeah, "lady", I really do believe you are my FRIEND. It really MATTERS to me that you like me. In fact, it matters so much that where I used to come here to your home and work myself to exhaustion and the more you believed you had me convinced of that you really like me, the less you paid me, I now find reasons NOT to show up for work because you are finding reasons to pay me as little as you can and do so in the most humiliating ways possible.
So I am telling you that Social Skills DO NOT mean making people like you. There are people you don't WANT to like you. There are people you want to avoid getting to know. There are people you do not want asking you questions.
And when it comes to telling the truth, if you are like me and find it very difficult not to just blurt out the truth to people who do not deserve to know ANYTHING about you and really have no business knowing anything about you and the people in your life or anything that has HAPPENED in your life, here are things to say: "I would rather not talk about it." "My Doctor told me not to discuss this with anyone." "My Social Worker told me not to discuss this with anyone." "I am here to work, not to discuss my life. If you want to pay me to discuss my life, please write out a contract and be very specific about what parts of my life you wish to discuss and your honest reasons for wanting to discuss these parts of my life. We can then have this contract notarized if I agree with its terms. I expect you to pay for any fees that are incurred and it will cost $xx per hour for me to discuss this part of my life."
I'm strongly considering going back into the closet where my Autism is concerned, unless I feel I am strong and sufficiently protected in my life. As it is, I'm being exploited to such an absurd extent that when I meet people who are kind and wonderful, who I really do want to get to know, I no longer know what to do. I know the woman who is exploiting me is genuinely crazy (delusional, cruel, vengeful) but this is not helping me to feel better about people in general. Here's another answer when people who do not deserve the truth ask you deeply personal questions about emotions: "Do you often hate people? " (I can truthfully answer: NO, because I deal with people on an individual basis.) Have you wanted to murder people? "Only ONE." Now this is ALSO a true answer for me, but in the case of a person who has no respect for my feelings or boundaries, I do not bother to go into an detail about WHO that person was or is and what they did that caused me to feel so much anger. You CAN tell the truth and not give away what you are feeling in the case where someone is untrustworthy. If they press you for details, walk away from them or say: "It's too upsetting to discuss. I cannot talk about it." And this will ALSO be the truth.
Yes you are 100% right and correct, please let's be more specific; social skills really are just gaining socioeconomic advantage using others. Because otherwise they wouldn't exist!
Yes i have reading disability, so I really "can't read" long posts (some kinda hyperlexia). Please understand.
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