anneurysm wrote:
You're not missing out on much in terms of clubbing. Don't ever mourn about that, not everyone is into that anyway. There are many types of people your age...not just people who like to go clubbing.
You really need to ask yourself what you want out of life and out of other people right now. Then, you will need to make some changes depending on what you want.
Clearly you are lonely and are dissatisfied with not having friends. It would be a good idea to put yourself out there and make some. Are you working or in school? The people you see around at both of those places would be good place to start. If you don't have any daily activities, it would be good idea to get some in place as you will have a routine and something to fill up your day. Do a web search for employment agencies who assist people with disabilities if you feel you're out of luck with getting jobs.
Alternatively, there is meetup.com and craigslist in terms of meeting friends...I have met a few friends on both of those sites through common views, values and interests.
As for small talk, it is annoying, but you have to do it a lot in order for people to move to the deeper stuff. You will need to choose friends who don't rely on this much and are more open and honest with themselves if you want to get around this. Look for people who are
introverts and who like the same games and shows that you do: that way you will ahve something in common.
Of course, if you want to bypass this altogether, you can find some people on the spectrum through meetup or various ASD support agencies. Many people I know on the spectrum get along best with others on the spectrum.
After years of drifting from course to course-dropping out etc and struggling with finding employment, I found an apprenticeship-work based employment in catering and hospitality. Its not what I wanted but its best thing I've obtained in terms of earning a bit of money and gaining a qualification with job prospects. I usually make an attempt at small talk and conversation when necessary and not to seem awkward but I feel fraught with anxiety and tension to come up with things to say and to seem natural but I find these interactions empty.
I think its mainly due to the fact that I have nothing in common with them? Once I was conversing to the manager about what I did at the weekend and was explaining that I watched some films downloaded and she remarks 'it's good that you have something do in the evenings' aka since you have no boyfriend (I told her this previously when she inquired) and no social life...
I know I should 'put myself out there' but due to the aforementioned issues as stated above I tend not to bother. My mum (who has very little understanding of the difficulties I face in term of socialization) and I always have this frustrating conversation where she nags me to 'join a church/church youth group' ' 'talk to people' etc.
I have no one in my family who I can talk to, no one takes notice of my diagnosis of AS and are too busy there own lives to give a shit-not that I'm close to any of them, I am seen as this misfit.
I just feel lonely and overwhelmingly frustrated with how stagnant and repetitive my days are becoming and angry with my situation and with myself, I am so sick of me. I'm fed up of moping about.
I think maybe I do need religion in my empty life.