How do I get started by myself?

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I have no guidance in life. No skills or talent I discovered yet. No money at all to invest. No social skills. No control over my life. How do I overcome this social skills obstacle. I want to become as social as I want/need but where is a source for help. I rarely have any connections to begin with outside of family. My parents also seem hard to maneuver and discuss with.

Oh, and don't tell me I need to sign up for a government program. God, I hate it so much when people keep minorities down by telling them they are oppressed and need help.

Greeny, good for you on the government programs. Some unfortunates genuinely need these programs, but we should avoid them if at all possible.

I was in the same situation when I was younger, so I can sympathize, if not hlep. Let me ask though, what is your education, and what are your special interests?

Last edited by Thelibrarian on 08 Jun 2013, 7:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Greeny, good for you on the government programs. Some unfortunates generally need these programs, but we should avoid them if at all possible.

I was in the same situation when I was younger, so I can sympathize, if not hlep. Let me ask though, what is your education, and what are your special interests?[/quote]

Thanks, I never wanted to stir anything or promote any general ideology over the other. But I don't like how I see that some people (on here or elsewhere) see themselves as unfortunates.

I have a high school diploma, thinking of going to college or other school *took a year gap after high school to think about* and have interests but they lack intensity. How do I make an interest or skill of mine more intensified?

Thanks, I never wanted to stir anything or promote any general ideology over the other. But I don't like how I see that some people (on here or elsewhere) see themselves as unfortunates.

I have a high school diploma, thinking of going to college or other school *took a year gap after high school to think about* and have interests but they lack intensity. How do I make an interest or skill of mine more intensified?[/quote]

Yes, I do see some of the entitlement mentality on here. I think it's as bad for them as it is for society. We need to be productive for our self-respect, if nothing else.

I actually didn't know what I wanted to do after high school either. I'm likely older than you (fifty). So, when I graduated high school in 1980, the economy was as awful as it is now. I went into the Navy and went into intelligence. If you're not formally diagnosed with AS, and you think you can handle it, it would buy you a few years to try to decide what you want to do with yourself.

As far as college goes, I went and have a master's. But college isn't for everyone. Depending on your interests and skills, some kind of associate degree, or even trade school, might be in order. A licensed plumber, for instance, usually make a lot more money than I do.

Again, what are your interests? The reason I'm asking is that the only way you develop your interests is by--well--developing them by lots of practice. This is far easier with something we like though.

Very few of us are born with inherent skills or talents, these are things that must be grown and cultivated over time. The good news in your case is that you are currently a clean slate, and you have full control over what path you take in life from here on out.

From a professional standpoint, you first need to decide where you want your life to be in 5, 10, 15 years, and then take the appropriate steps to get yourself there. If you don't feel that you have any professional interests, then think of the kinds of jobs you would enjoy doing. Just remember, whatever your job ends up, you will likely be there 8 hours a day 5 days a week, so think of tasks that you would enjoy doing for that amount of time. Do you want to do scientific research? Build houses? Design computer software? Save people's lives? The possibilities are endless! Also, think of the economic and employment viability of whatever path you choose. Wanting a job is not the same as having a job, and therefore you have to keep in mind both the pay of any job you are looking into, as well as the need for workers in the field (some fields have incredibly high unemployment rates whereas others you can get a job simply by walking out your front door).

In terms of social skills, those can be developed just as well as any skill, it just may be more difficult. I recommend trying to practice as often as you can with anyone you can, but before taking that step I recommend talking to someone about what your problems are socially and what you can do to improve. I'd suggest a counselor if possible (private ones are pretty expensive but there are often lots of free or public options if you search). If unable to find one, a close family member or friend can suffice. You can even try searching for books on the subject, there are quite a few out there. The reason I say that is that practice without direction will yield no results. So if you keep socializing, but continue to do it in the same manner as you always have, you will not notice any improvement. You need to have some grasp on what the underlying issues are, and then take concrete steps towards solving those issues.

In summary, you probably have far more control over your life than you may believe. You just have to figure out how exactly you wish to exert that control to manage your future.