People asking "How are you?" or "How's life?&

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This is something I have a real problem with. I don't get funny about it, I just have no idea how to respond. Everyone else seems to have an interesting answer, whereas everything in my life just seems monotonous to me when I talk about it.

I also feel like I'm repeating myself a lot which grates on me a bit.

Is it just me?

i hate those questions. i get so overwhelmed i just answer "yes".

I understand its supposedly just another way of saying hello, but I never seem to remember that so consequently bore people to death by telling them how I am which more often than not relating my problems.
And to make it worst, I never remember to ask them how they are.

I personally feel someone who says something like this is just saying hello. A response such as "hey, how are you or "what's up" would be appropriate. They are not really inquiring about your personal life nor do they really want to know about it.

I'm often clueless how to respond to that, feelings within itself is difficult enough to read as it is. I often reply a simple "yeah, fine" when asked as past experiences going into too much detail means there is something wrong

The length and honesty to which you answer the question is proportionate to how close you are to the asker. If it's someone you don't know well, then "I'm fine" is sufficient. If it's your best friend or family, then the real truth is ok.

I was informed that this was simply a greeting and the proper response is "Great, and you?" whether it is good or not, whether you care how theirs is or not. It is pointless and repetitive, but this is just one of the purposeless rituals of the social world.

Yeah, and heaven forbid they get an answer they didn't anticipate. They freak out.
And they call us obsessed with useless rituals. Wake up and see the beam in your own eyes, NTs!

That one's so lame, I just say "Hi". When a simple greeting is what you mean, then use it for crying out loud. We're not friends, none of us care how the other is doing, so let's just say 'hi'.

I learned that I should BS with an answer that everything is good, even though everything is not good. No one really wants to know that I feel like s**t, even if it's written on my face.

This is a wonderful explanation and I really like this.

I have regularly struggled with this simple skill all my life! I used to take it literally and just launch into exactly how I was! I didn't "get it" that most of the time most people asking "how ya doing?" don't actually want to know.

Until someone came right out and told me with a nervous laugh: "Uhm....I wasn't really asking you for all that information. It's just a greeting and it's okay to reply "Fine and you?""....I was 33 at the time when they said this to me.

Problem is, sometimes someone IS asking in order to be told real stuff, and I still have difficulty knowing when or if it's supposed to be okay to be all "Oh, fine, and you?" or really say something that's been happening. And I still get a person or two reacting badly if I've been truthful and actually answered that question. Sacrip's summation comes closest, I think, to explaining what's appropriate and with whom.

Having said that, there is one person in my life right now who is really confusing me. She is a client in my work and I see her once a week. We've become closer and can chat about quite personal things when in conversation. So I thought we were close enough for "real" responses to "how're things going?"

Yet she's also hinted that when we first greet each other she really doesn't want a "real" answer to "How are you?" So I stopped answering truthfully or launching into something bad that had happened that week, and switched back to "Oh, fine...."

Then one day she ranted about "emotional dishonesty" and complained about people who are phony and put a front on things instead of being honest that they're having a bad day!! !

I feel like I can't win, with this woman!

Just say that things are good, and if you're in a position to have a lengthier conversation mention a few of the things going on in your life at the moment. Ask them the same question afterwards, and you should expect a response proportional to yours.

Tell them you are moderately flatulent.

I feel weird saying "good" or "great" when I feel like crap. I prefer "alright" or "okay". Some days I wish I could say "horrible, if you don't want to hear about it don't bother asking".

I mostly go with alright or ok. I have gotten better at returning the question and having a bit of interest in the reply although most of the time I don't really know how to respond after this. I do say that I feel like s**t quite often, trouble is I feel like that too often. I tend to spill information to people I don't really know.