Why's this?

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Let's say, a teenage Aspie girl is being bullied at school by other girls. They are calling her names, ripping on her for being a little different, getting other girls to gang up on her, spreading lies about her around the school, and making life hell for her when all she's doing is trying to be nice to everyone and fit in and just attend school because in a way she's just like any other normal teenager who needs the same education and has the same rights as anybody else. One day she gets sick of all this, and although the adults are aware of everything that is going on but can't get them to stop bullying her because they won't listen, she stands up to these bullies by calling them a name or harshly telling them how she feels. These bullies go and tell the adults that she had called them this name or had said this or that to them, and then the Aspie girl gets a half-hour lecture from one of the adults, telling her that she shouldn't have said that to the bullies because it might have ''hurt their feelings''.

Why does that really wind me up SEVERELY??? This poor Aspie was getting her feelings hurt every day, and the bullies just thought it was funny to do so and wasn't at all showing any forms of thoughtfulness, and suddenly the Aspie girl thinks they should get a taste of their own medicine by just mildly insulting them for all the nasty things they did to her (which were all way worse than what she said), and she gets told that she shouldn't have stuck up for herself, as though it's fine for NTs to hurt a non-NT's feelings (could be any neurotype, not just Asperger's), but oh, no, mustn't upset those poor little bullies, no way, the poor little things might get their feelings hurt. It makes me feel so angry.

Are NT bullies allowed to get away with upsetting somebody and making them feel worthless, and then supposed to be mollycoddled or rewarded, or what?

Seems that way to some extent, though not sure it can be narrowed down to an NT vs. Aspie issue....But I know I ran into stuff like that I would be endlessly picked on and whenever it got to the point I couldn't hold back any longer and had to say or do something I'd get in trouble. So I am very familier with the feelings that I must be worthless because it was ok for the normal kids who picked on me to upset me and destroy my self esteem but it was wrong of me to do anything aside from just take it.

I just don't think its only aspies that happens to, I am sure people with other disorders that might set them apart somewhat struggle with that to. It pisses me off to no end, but I don't even know what the solution is....There will probably always be people who get some kind of pleasure from bullying/ostracizing someone different from them as much as it sucks and pisses me off.

I agree, there are lots of other conditions besides AS what can cause a person to be picked on too. I knew a girl at school who had Fragile-X, and she was bullied non-stop. Also a girl with Epilepsy got picked on because she had fits, and some kids just couldn't get it into their heads that she couldn't help having these fits, and they just found it funny each time. I never took any notice, I would sit next to her in class and if she had one of her fits I just carried on as though she wasn't having one, unless there wasn't an adult in the classroom, then I'd make sure one is there, but she always had a teacher's assistant with her so it was all right. When she had fits, it just became normal to me. Why laugh? It wasn't funny. She was a lovely girl. When she was OK again after a fit, I usually asked if she was all right or something like that.

But anyway, I hope my post didn't sound like I was generalizing too much. But it is a good example, and it doesn't just happen with bullies, it happens with people in general. Like if I said hello to somebody and they didn't respond, just gave me a funny look instead, and I told someone, they'll probably just say ''oh maybe they were having a bad day'', but if I was having a bad day and somebody said hello to me and I ignored them, I bet I would be lectured, ''it doesn't matter if you're having a bad day or not, it was rude not to speak, they were only being friendly.''

Meh.

Kids would get away with bullying me but when I would stand up for myself, I had to be the one in trouble and be the first to apologize. Life is so messed up.

Here is the deal.

1. The reason the Aspie girl got into trouble was because she chose to sink to their level as she probably did not know what else to do Aspie's mature much later.
2. Bullies will often use retaliation on against you if you try and stand up for yourself which can be a way to hurt you further. This is the most true if you call someone names or swear at them. It gives them ammunition.
3. I was watching the Dr. Phil show the other night about a girl who was being cyber bullied by other students at her school. The girl's mother brought up something very important.

A lot of times, teachers and parents blow off bullying as if it's regular high school drama when they do not see the damage it can do.

As a better solution, it is best to find someone who will listen and trust you and you can trust them. Then they can help you develop a buddy system.