Death of partner

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Hi,
As I mentioned before my husband and partner of 24 years died suddenly about two weeks ago and life is starting to settle and I am starting to hurt/grieve.

Something that happened today sent me for a loop. A friend sent me a copy of the obit his family published in their hometown that had my husband living happily with his ex wife until her death -- six years after they broke up and four years after Tom and I started living together! I cried a lot and called his family who expressed surprise that I was offended.

I am publishing a corrected obit tomorrow in the same paper. This is good in that it moves me off square 1 into organizing a memorial service, starting to cry, etc but how can someone be so deliberatly hurtful and then be self ritious about it.

i can't believe they did that

Julieme-my significant other's family did similar destructive behaviors-you'd think they had their own agenda for their son's heart-how incorrigable!

You could sue them you know for slander or pain and suffering-just to make things right, though you probably don't have the energy for it.

sick!!

I am so sorry for your loss. Do you have children or loved ones who are walking this grief with you?

Take the best care of you always now, as people like that still walk the earth while your low in strenght and spirit.

After 10 years since my sig other passed unexpectedly, well, I started to be ok 6 years ago, but it was a woolap of a ride before that. I am happy, as much as can be expected.
I have his son to entertain my mothering and friendship. And the memory of having loved.

But-no one even tried to help along the way; and I'm hoping this is not the case with you.

Also, some helped poorly-as in the case of your inlaws.

They know not what they do..

My minister and shrink agreeded that my in laws are sick... I am very lucky that I have close friends to help.


Thanks all

You welcome, hon. I will.

Shout Out anytime. Sometimes we just need a validation from outside ourselves to justify the obvious.

Life was so hard for so long, that finally when I just gave up on it things slowly got better. Seriously, I just reached a point where I said "OK!! WHATEVER!" and put on my headphones and ran a few 20 miles.

I feel grateful that you have a few close friends and mentors already in place. Take your alone time too. Paint. Write. Draw. Meditate. Sing. Remember. Dance. Cry. Howl. Whatever finds a place within you.

More other person experiences:

I had some anger issues with my departed.
Angry that he had gone.
(without saying goodbye)
Eventually, they too were resolved, as well as could be expected. I just talked to him in my thoughts. Listened to my soul and dreams for responses.

The night before his burial I had an extrordinary experience that left me crushed when I woke to reality. I've heard it is common. And I haven't dreampt of him like that since. He was right there in the flesh and emotion and depths that drew me to him in the first place. We were dancing and all was as it was before. It was like he was saying goodbye.

But years later, (car accident) I had the urging that he hadn't quite gone on. Whether fact, or mystery, or psychology he was stuck. I talked with a few minister friends and we did what we could to send him and the others onward. To open the door to get them to where they were going. -to god or heaven or peace or rebirth.

I feel he is free, but that he also cares after us where he can-or at least is watching.

Painful. Not sure I'll do THAT again. That caring deeply thing. Man what a head trip.

They were so nasty to do that to you. How dare they be so deliberately insensitive and cause you so much harm.

You need to be able to deal with the grief not get yet another stab in the back while you are down.