I have learnt not to be so sheepish

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I used to be so afraid of saying no to people, whether I was asked to do something I didn't want to do, or if I was just asked something what I knew my truthful answer would be against some sort of rule.

The other day at work (I am a cleaner) I had done all the tasks what are meant to be done each day by me, and told my line manager that I had finished. But then she asked if I had mopped the only room I had forgotten to do. But I decided not to panic and think ''oh s**t, now I feel stupid, what if she tells me off?!'' Instead I just stayed calm inside and I just carried on making eye contact and I said, ''no'' in....hmm can't quite explain what type of voice it was, but I know it if I hear it. It sort of means ''no I haven't done that, can't remember everything and I'm not afraid to admit it'' type of voice, which tells others that I can handle the situation without worrying about what they might say next.

I have also learnt that if I use confidence in my speech, I may be able to cope with ridicule or patronization (if that's a word?) or being strictly instructed, etc etc etc. Not saying I was ridiculed or told off anyway in that situation, but I just mean for further use.

I have learnt a bit that the more worried you feel about people, the more you will feel worried about people, and you will never have any fun. So if I try to keep this up when knowing I am in an awkward situation, I can then work on other social anxieties too. Anyone agree?

ps - at least I am writing something positive here, so don't discourage me.

Congratulations. I don't handle situations like that well. I wish I could do that.

Joe, the first word that came to my mind reading your post is "confidence". While confidence isn't everything, it goes a long ways in our dealings with others. Being self-confident is also the best antidote against ridicule, teasing, and such. I would advise you though in the future to double-check yourself so you have good reason to be self-confident.

I'm really happy for you Joe90 and I totally agree with you. Sometimes just speaking more confidently can make a huge difference in how others talk to you and regard you

I agree, I wish I had more of it.

Daydreamer, I still lack confidence in many areas in life, and probably always will. So, I wish I had more of it too. I think respect is something we earn from others, and confidence is something we earn from ourselves; neither are freebies. I think we gain confidence by knowing what we are talking about or doing. For example, I'm guessing most aspies have lots of confidence when they are discussing their special interests. Therefore, I think the key is to concentrate as much as possible on what we know, and what interests us.