Lonely summer as friends either exclude/forgot abt me

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Been studying abroad for 2 years now, made friends abroad and kept in touch with the ones back home.
My friends back home and I have nothing in common anymore n they never seem to remember me until i txt them and every time we go out it's just pure awkwardness. thts why they never like to hang with me anymore. Friends i met abroad, which came from the same city as me seem to be excluding me, opening fb groups with everyone but me n stuff. And when I ask them to go out, they're all so busy and are still able to keep in touch with their friends back home. I dunno but they're either lying to me cuz they dun wanna see me or they're actually busy. I think im socially awkward, cuz how come they can keep in touch with old friends when I cant? Frustration cuz i have nothing to do in the summer and i have too much spare time to think of stuff like this... Makes me so depressed!

There, there. That's one of the curses of being on the spectrum.

Our social awkwardness and communication misfires keeps potential friends at bay.

It's really hard accepting that, but now that I understand it's part and parcel of this confounded condition, it makes it easier to bear.

You have grown apart from your friends in the two years you were gone. It happens, unfortunately. You have had different experiences than they had, so you are somewhat of a different person, and so are they. I read in your other post that you are 16; people change rapidly at your age, and who your friends are will often change in the process. When I was sixteen, I wasn't even in touch with the people who had been my friends when I was fourteen, and I had been in the same school with them the whole time!

Reconnecting with your old friends will take time, if you want to go that route. On the other hand, you could try to move on and make new friends. It stinks that your friends from abroad are excluding you. I think it is best to forget about them and move on.

One suggestion, which may or may not help you in any way- What country were you studying abroad in? Did you get along well with the people in that country? If so, are there students or people of your age from that country/region in your city? Some people who are socially awkward in their home culture find that they get along better with people from a different culture, and those people from the other culture might appreciate having someone to practice English with and give them an insider's perspective on your country.

I feel your pain. In three years of college I've never had a 'friend' try to keep in touch with me. I'm horrible at meeting new people in real life so instead of just sitting around and being sad over no friends, I'm giving the online dating sites a try. Haven't had great success but I have at least found two girls willing to chat with me and both seem willing to meet me face-to-face though it hasn't happened yet. I'd love for either one of them to become my girlfriend if I like them enough and vice versa, but right now I'm just happy to have two friends to talk to even if it is online.

I don't know what your opinion is on online dating sites but maybe you could give it a try and see if you can find some friends in your spare time instead of being frustrated and depressed. The hope of finding new friends has improved my mood compared to the last two summers when I was in the same situation that you are in now.

It seems that way for me too. I have overcome this problem somewhat by working longer hours and doing lots of overtime and usually it makes me too tired to care about the loneliness on the weekends. I also tend to smoke and drink more on the weekends while listening to loud rock music.

There is a difference between friends and acquaintances. It doesn't sound like these people are friends because despite how awkward you are, friends will look beyond that and try their best to make you feel comfortable. Having said that, most people lack the ability to handle a situation like this. I would work towards finding like-minded friends who understand and empathize what you are going through.

I would stop contacting these friends and limit them to the acquaintances that they are. They are showing you no interest. Sorry!

What I do not think it is, is a spectrum thing. The thing with keeping up friends is that sometimes you may not have written or called them very often. Friends are plants that need to be watered, and when we stop watering, they sometimes dry up and go to seed.

Rather than expecting them to have the same interests as you, why not explore their interests - like if they're into a sport, why not watch that sport a little and learn about them? It seems as if they are still interested in being friends on some level. Try to look into what they're into. Also, create your own clique by exploring what you're into more, and maybe forming a group for that to supplement the other group. For example if you're into gaming - how about going to Meetup.com for a game session?

lol friends. cant remember the last time i got an invite for anything. gotta work hard to get them to go somewhere with me once every couple of months.

I feel like that. We're in the middle (or hopefully still at the beginning! ) of a heatwave, and I want to get out there and go places with friends, but again nobody seems available. I don't have a tremendous amount of friends, so I can't really take my pick of who I can go places with.

One of my friends who I hang out with a lot has suddenly had a tragedy happen a few weeks ago (2 of her friends are kind of dying in hospital) and so she's not herself lately and has been going backwards and forth to the hospital to see them. I don't know these friends of hers but I have tried to be there for her, but I know she's not up to going out anywhere with me at the moment. I don't want to sound selfish or thoughtless, but these sorts of things always seem to happen at the best chances I've got to go out, like when I'm on annual leave from work or when we're having a heatwave. Hopefully my other friend will want to come out with me. She's an Aspie too, and so doesn't have many choice for friends like me, so she's always happy when I ask her to do something with me. It's a chance for us to escape our loneliness. But the trouble is, she still hasn't got a job, so hasn't got a lot of money to go far with.

There's so much more I could be doing in my life if I wasn't lumbered with this sh***y AS. I'm young, slim, attractive, healthy, and I feel like I am going to waste. God I hate having AS.