How to be more assertive?

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Any tips on how to be more assertive? I have Asperger's and many people think I'm too nice. This resulted in getting bullied alot and now I'm tired of it. I want to stop being so nice and stop people from walking all over me. I also want to have a "backbone" and not take any crap from people. What can I do?

First of all, remember it's ok to have your own needs, and that you shouldn't neglect them in order to please someone else.
Do you have trouble saying no to people? It's pretty common and most people with assertiveness issues have trouble with it. I still don't know much about you to be more specific though, can you tell me about specific instances where you've felt you're not being assertive?

I think assertiveness often ties directly into self-esteem and security. From looking at people who aren't assertive, I see a lot of people who have a strong fear of backlash, abandonment, or conflict resulting from setting boundaries or saying things other people might not want to hear. Because of this I think the initial change has to be one in mindset and priorities and not just a set of steps to be taken.

Why don't you say no when you know you can?

Yes actually I do, but it really situationally dependent.

You asked and you can find it here. StabilizingAutism/unsolicited-advice
You can find what it can do here. What PAR can do
And
If you're really, really interested you can get a free session here. StabilizingAutism/free-first-session

Here is an example of TinyDancer being assertive:

1401b, I'm sick of seeing you advertising your services on every other thread. Someone starts a thread wanting real feedback and you use it as a billboard for your personal profit. I'm pretty sure this is against the rules here and next time I see it I'm going to report you. It's a dirty advertisement method and it undermines your business image (i.e. it makes you look bad).

Well yeah it is hard to say "No"
I have trouble telling my mom "No" because I'm scared of conflict or she would get mad at me.
Another different scenario is back in high school this kid said I had a dumb name to me when I was with a group of people and I didn't say anything back to him. Then I laughed from someone else's joke and he made fun of my laugh and everyone got quiet and stared at me like I was supposed so say something back. It embarrassed me that no one stood up for me. Another kid said I looked creepy and these girls started laughing at me. And this other time some different kid said I was ret*d and made me feel bad.

Ask yourself this. What is the worst case scenario for this situation if I stand up for myself? Sometimes it's best not to stand up. If you are in a situation where you can be arrested or seriously hurt physically then suck it up and don't say anything. Just take the crap. Honor be damned there. But if you are in a situation where someone will yell at you, argue with you, dislike you, ask you to leave, or in a fight where you probably won't get hurt bad, then force yourself to do it. That's the ONLY WAY.

You all see how I am now. I'm past assertive sometimes, sometimes I'm downright aggressive. I used to not say sh*t if I had a mouthful (that's a metaphor btw). In high school my best friend who used to stand up for me had kept encouraging me to stand up for myself with people. She was sick of seeing me get hurt. Finally, she told me that next time this one girl Dee Dee did something to me, that if I didn't fight back she would kick my ass herself that afternoon. Yes, that SOUNDS mean, and I don't honestly think she would have but she knew that I knew that she could hurt me way worse than Dee Dee ever could. And she had practiced with me and taught me how to stick up for myself many times before, physically as well as verbally.

She had sat me down and ran over and over the insults and things that were said to me. Taught me things to say back and made me practice them with her. Get the right tone, body language, attitude, etc. I did GREAT practicing with her. But when it came down to it, I just put my head down and went on, every time. She had even took me out in the yard and showed me how to fight. Actual fighting. Showed me what it would feel like when I got moderately hit or tackled by some girl who was mad. That it wasn't as bad as I thought and made me do it back to her. But when the time came I'd just curl in a ball at school.

So, this one day I was so ticked about Dee Dee, and she called me out in front of the whole girl's PE class, seniors and all. Said some sh*t to me there, insulted me, pushed me. I looked over and saw my best friend staring daggers at me, balling up her fist and I let loose. I won that one. I lost many after that, but I won that one and earned some respect.

Now, it's not all about physical stuff. In fact, 90% of standing up for yourself is not about physical stuff. You have to learn that no matter what you do, some people will still think bad about you and that confrontation is NOT the worst thing ever. Neither is the physical stuff.

When you first start doing it, your voice will be shakey. You will shake. That's normal. But keep on standing your ground and that will go away and you will gain confidence in yourself.

Honestly, no matter what coaching and training you get, the ONLY WAY is to MAKE YOURSELF.