Friendships and Maintaining

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Okay, so unlike a 'typical' Aspie, I do not have trouble making friends. I guess I just try and be a nice person to everyone. No no, I have trouble keeping and maintaining friends. This especially counts for females. Even If I don't like them that much I just seem to get obsessive/clingy and annoying. I really don't mean to do it. I don't know what to do as I'm losing many lovely people in my life.

I have that problem too and I have been thrown away by others on the spectrum -you would think they do not like being thrown away as a friend and would understand how it feels and wouldnt do the same thing to others-especially others on the spectrum like themselves-well I guess some people no matter what their status0- on the spectrum or NT think themselves better than others

I can be that way with my guy friends and I guess some of my female friends but then I can also be extremely distant and rarely contact people especially once I move to a new city or something. I miss the people I care about and it's too overwhelming. But then like you sometimes I can be obsessive and clingy when I am overwhelmed or when it's a guy especially even if I don't like them romantically or sexually but it's worse if I do have any romantic or lustful feelings towards them I guess. I am never a stalker. I just text too much and if I have a misunderstanding or miscommunication (I have AS so it happens alot) then I perseverate and obsess on that and on repairing the misunderstanding to the point of being an annoying nuisance! It's alienated some friends, particularly some male friends and some dating situations.

I have/had a male friend who also has AS and he is one of my favorite people on the planet or used to be anyway and he has a worse problem than me for constantly texting or calling friends, especially female friends and for being clingy and inappropriate especially when he's stressed. Plus he talks constantly especially when nervous. I didn't mind. Usually it was interesting and I felt we mostly understood each other. Anyway back in Nov we had a huge miscommunication and I went into perseverative, must fix this mode and kind of melted down via text and he ended friendship. And yeah it hurts big time when a friend who also has AS does that because it feels like betrayal. It broke my heart and hurt a lot more than the loss of an NT friend. It was second only or even tied with the me realizing I couldn't fix my dysfunctional and abusive marriage which was sad because I loved my husband and really wanted it to work.

I don't know

Interesting topic. I don't know whether I'm Aspergers of not but I don't have trouble making friends atall - I actually find people a hindrance and just don't have time for friends, especially girly ones! I am female but I prefer male company. I prefer to keep aquaintances at a distance - those that remain my 'friends' also want the same - just a small amount of infrequent contact like a few times a year by e-mail or such.
I think the main reason for this is that people seem to be such a drain. I have many things I want to do and experience in life and I find that when I have friends they just slow me down as I'm paying attention to what they're doing and I hate this loss of time. I have a boyfriend but have mostly been a single parent - even looking after a child has been a 'drain' on my time - I feel cruel to say this but it is true and wonder if anyone relates to these feelings?
I am happy to be close to my boyfriend though and we have a lot in common so it is very easy. I really don't like other people coming between us though or wanting to hang out with us - I feel like I just want to be with him alone and that is enough - I don't want to pay attention to anyone else or share my thoughts with them or have their thoughts put upon me because I'm just not interested in their lifestyles or ideas, only mine or my boyfriends.

If know what behaviors are obsessive/clingy, then back off when you catch yourself doing them. Train yourself to do it if you have to. Many friendships will develop their own security and prove their own merit in time if they're left to develop.

As someone who has "thrown others away", it's about their disrespect of me. Treating me like a possession or a therapist disrespects me, wrecks my productivity, spikes my anxiety, and makes me unhealthy. I don't consider that a friendship.

This, absolutely. Some people I know personally on the spectrum tend to "try too hard, too soon" which means that they show too much attention to a person when they are just getting to know them.

For example: one person I know tends to try to talk to people she likes over and over without giving them space for them to seek her out on her own. Two others I know tend to give me too much affection: they are aquaintances but tell me they love me and talk to me like a close friend. Things like this can really scare people away more than other social faux pases so I feel that it's important to learn if you have these tendencies and try to avoid these types of behaviors when you can.

My advice is to not get too excited when you make a new acquaintance, and to be patient because friendships develop over time. If you're unsure if a behavior is making someone uncomfortable: ask the person...I find most people are honest when it comes to things like this.