having one of my moments where I feel socially ret*d...

Post Reply New Topic

All my life I've been paranoid as to whether someone doesn't like me or whether they're just introverted and want to have time alone.

And now I'm getting paranoid again. One of my classmates who lives on my street and I started taking the bus home together. Suddenly she would just disappear and not make it a point to take the bus with me.

She goes with other friends on the metro (sometimes myself and some of my friends join), but she's also super-introverted so maybe she just wants her alone time on the bus? Or maybe she just expects me to make the first move?

This is medical school and I'm in a very small class so of course I'm worried about rubbing people the wrong way which sadly I (probably) do more than I like....however I improved a ton from childhood onwards so I do so much less.... in fact I can safely say the majority of people in my class seem to like me. However, I'm starting to feel insecure, like how a (legally but not fully) blind person must feel when people repeatedly tell them to try to count how many fingers. I'm just so.... clueless. And it's a sucky feeling. I don't even know what I did wrong!

Due to all the rejection I've experienced I'm super-paranoid (understandably). She lives on my street and I don't want to alienate one of my few potential study partners.

Any advice on how to distinguish between whether someone doesn't like you or whether they're just super-introverted? I kind of suck at decoding people and it's getting to me today. This is not a happy day

You might like to try the Three Strike Rule: that is, invite her to meet you, and if she claims to be busy or otherwise engaged, try again about a week later, and repeat if she gives the same response; if on these three occasions she does not accept your proposal or suggest a preferred date and/or time, it would be wise to let it go.
Introverted people usually have a tough time initiating contact with others so if she is in fact shy as per your theory she will appreciate you setting the ball rolling.

I don't think you can know other than by observing how they treat others and comparing.