A little trick I found out how to make friends.

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Plagued
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08 Aug 2013, 4:51 am

Our social anxiety may run high, but I believe there is honestly no way to cure it, no matter what medication we are given.

You must push through the fear and anxiety and face every social situation with one-hundred percent confidence.

Obviously it is easier said than done, but keep this in your mind, and maybe it will do you justice.

I just thought this might help others, so I decided to post and share it. Best of luck everyone!



Who_Am_I
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08 Aug 2013, 8:50 am

And if you don't have and never did have social anxiety, but are still socially ret*d?


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Thelibrarian
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08 Aug 2013, 9:39 am

Plagued, I gave up long ago on socializing except for people I know very well and like. Since I'm no good at it, and not getting better as I age, I see it as a matter of accepting myself for who I am.



LAlien
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08 Aug 2013, 10:01 am

Social Anxiety isn't my problem, but a lack of understanding of the social situation itself! That, however, does cause much anxiety on its own...


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LookTwice
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08 Aug 2013, 10:19 am

So you're saying that social anxiety which is caused by a lack of confidence can be cured by being 100% confident? :roll:
I'll take it as your version of "feel the fear and do it anyway".


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LookTwice
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08 Aug 2013, 10:26 am

LAlien wrote:
Social Anxiety isn't my problem, but a lack of understanding of the social situation itself! That, however, does cause much anxiety on its own...


It may be possible to at least partially resolve this by learning about social scripts and body language (theory) and getting a lot of practice. In that case, the OP's advice is applicable: do this now, make it a priority now that you're at an age where learning these kinds of things is considered normal; don't give in to the anxiety - it'll only get more difficult later on when everyone expects you to be a grown-up.


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Thelibrarian
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08 Aug 2013, 10:35 am

LookTwice wrote:
So you're saying that social anxiety which is caused by a lack of confidence can be cured by being 100% confident? :roll:
I'll take it as your version of "feel the fear and do it anyway".


The problem with the "confidence" approach is that real confidence can only be attained by repeated successes. I've become confident with my limited dealings with others, but that's only because they are limited. In other words, being subject to constant ridicule, ostracism, or rejection will not build confidence if this word is to have any meaning at all.



LAlien
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08 Aug 2013, 10:42 am

:D I have a 'phrase arsenal' that I use, one set of phrases for each age group! (4-7) Hey! That's cool! Show me again! Teach me to do that! and others, but that will keep a kid occupied as long as I need it to. With teens, you mostly just have to listen to them talk and say "yeah" and complain every once in a while, or with my friends, I can pretty easily start up a convo in which I can actually feel comfortable, on the scientific american magazine or something of the like. For adults, ask them questions about their job, smile and call them sir or mr._____ and ma'am or miss, depending on age. Tell them how cool their kid is, too, even if you hate the kid. I have trouble with infliction and body language because I stop being able to one hundred percent listen to the words and understand them if most of my focus goes to the 'non verbals'. But, when my scripts run out, I am lost...


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Summer_Twilight
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08 Aug 2013, 3:00 pm

For me it's the problem with me liking certain interest that most girls my age may like. For instance, I like things like math, cartoons and anything weird.

Although I engage in small talk, there are times where I just feel like I cannot find a way to deal with their conversations.

As for making friends, I find that you make them by getting busy and getting involved in some interests that you like. That way you have an easier time connecting.



FlanMaster
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11 Aug 2013, 2:25 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
And if you don't have and never did have social anxiety, but are still socially ret*d?


Push through the socially retardedness with 100% confidence? They say practice makes perfect. perhaps download a ton of social coaching videos and practice the scenarios?


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Who_Am_I
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11 Aug 2013, 4:14 am

FlanMaster wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
And if you don't have and never did have social anxiety, but are still socially ret*d?


Push through the socially retardedness with 100% confidence? They say practice makes perfect. perhaps download a ton of social coaching videos and practice the scenarios?


I'm really not interested enough in socialising to make that sort of effort.
Good advice for those who are, though.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


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11 Aug 2013, 7:00 am

Show no fear.


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