NEED ADVICE, ASAP!

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Oh Diablos, I'm so nervous! I'm going out for a day with Community Lifestyles, which is for people with disabilities. The thing is, I haven't been social for so long, and I'm nervous. What am I going to do?!

Just go and don't worry about it. Things are usually better once you get there, though I do quite despise going places unless I have someone I know to follow around.

Thanks for the advice, NI!

Fear, its an abreviation for - F everything and run. Usually nothing good comes from it.

One tip: if you're standing there talking to no one, instead of inserting yourself in a group, find someone else who's alone and walk up and talk to him/her. When working up the nerve, just think about how grateful you would be to someone doing that to you!

If you have panic attacks, maybe you could get you doctor to give you beta blockers. I would not get tranquillizers as they may make you worse and you can get dependent on them easily. I've never tried but there are various 'rescue remedies' sold over the counter as well.

The best thing you can do in this situation do it occupy yourself and don't think about it till the last minute.

Relax and don't overthink the situation; just live in the moment.

Have a good time, berserker.

Is this going outside? Out to dinner?

If it's a spectator type activity, perhaps you could bring along binoculars or a field guide to it?

I'm thinking of something to have that can help you appreciate the event better and maybe share something with others.

For example...

A concert... I usually bring a pair of binoculars (even those small cheap kind if they work well enough) if the stage will be a little ways off from me. I often enjoy watching the performers up close.. or seeing the set up close, or watching a musician's hands playing the instrument. I have found opportunity to pass my binoculars over to someone I was sitting with or even a stranger sometimes.

Play... if I know the play is a classic, I can try to find some written information about it other than the program passed out at seating.

Outdoors... again, binoculars are a nice way to silently share the moment with others. A field guide with nice pictures is fun to have along even if you are not looking for anything in particular as in bird watching.

Sports... Since I do not follow sports, if I do find myself at a game, I might ask a simple question like... "Who's the best player on that team?", or "Are these teams bitter rivals?".
If you start asking a lot of questions some people will get tired of answering them, especially if all you need to do for the answer is look at the scoreboard or something similar.

If it's just party or dinner type thing... then I can't help you because I usually just stand around looking and listening to all the other people until I find a nice quiet corner to move to, and then eventually work my way out and back home.

I'm going to a cottage for people with disabilities. They do wood working out there and stuff, and we're going bowling.

OH!

So you'll be spending time hanging out with folks at the cottage. Will you be participating in any woodworking, watching a demonstration of woodworking, or just socializing?

BOWLING! YES! That's good if the rest of the crowd isn't too serious about their bowling.
My daughter and I went bowling last week. Haven't been for a while. She brought her best friend along.
We just had fun laughing about each other's and our own bowling mistakes and tried not to get hurt when my daughter swung back with her arm and launched the ball straight back at us!

THAT'S the kind of bowling I like... I don't even know how to score the games.

There's several movies on bowling, to help you get into the game...

Bowlers, their style, their brew, their language...
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqtgfjkB6Pg[/youtube]

Seating... do not sit on the ball return!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFPZjxWb3os[/youtube]

The Place... only bowl on approved Bowling Lanes
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwYbX7Hdqbw[/youtube]

The release... LET GO OF THE FREAKIN' BALL!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feI5l7AzEIU[/youtube]

The Team... do not bowl with any of these people!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t951fs0un60[/youtube]

I dunno what I'll be doing.

There willl be people there. Scarey. You can deal with it, one, they have names, try to remember them, it will keep your brain active on something,

This has been a place they felt comfortable, new people around, upsetting you know, try to make them feel better, show an interest in their work, most people can talk about their work much better than about themselves. Most of the world talks of sports.

If you ask simple questions, they will not ask you questions, this is called being social, it is a fraud, and it works. Since they did not have anything to do with it, most likely do not like strangers, they are strange you know, thank them for having you over. This is called lying, and it works.

If you are a fraud and a lier, people will like you.

Do not tell people your name is Beserker, use that girl one.

Check out the crowd, see who does not make eye contact, stand just far enough away that they cannot grab you, talk to the floor, look at their shoes. They will sense you are offering them protection.

If you just stand in a corner, jabbering monkeys will come touch you, and not stop, they will jabber louder the closer they get. If you are involved in shoe watching they will leave you alone. There is a proper form for dealing with strange places and jabbering monkeys, it is considered polite to growl, before you bite.

With any luck you can find someone who wants to get away as much as you do, perhaps there is a yard, garden, workshop, you can seem active and avoid monkeys. Moving targets are hard to hit.

If cornered, ask where the rest room is, that breaks most contact.

Show yourself to be helpfull and friendly, tell someone you will break ot the window with a chair, and you can both make a break for it.

Mention that the head jabbering monkey seems too crazy to be out running around loose, she is the head Administrator.

Do not take social advice from Inventor.

Have fun!

Bowling sounds great. I am absolutely hopeless and get more balls rolling down the gutter than actually hitting anything, but I still have fun.

It's great that you're doing an activity rather than just having to sit around looking at each other.

Everyone will be just as nervous as you (if it's their first time with this particular group).

Remember, most people spend their time worrying about what others think about them, rather than actually thinking about anyone else.

Hope that makes sense.

Have fun.

Helen