Don't know how to act

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I have always struggled with social interaction. This is also the case at my new job (work there for a month now). Don't get me wrong. It has been great so far. But when it comes to social interaction... I call myself a social clums.

At the moment I'm struggling with the following situation:

I take the train and metro every day to go to work. There's this female colleague that does the same route. She's super friendly and helps me to connect with other people. For instance by introducing me to a group of commuters (where she's part of). We usually travel together in the morning.
I'm shy. The larger the group, the more quiet I stay. In others words: I'm more talkative when I'm alone with her. Last Friday I took an earlier train when going home and by surprise she did as well. I was opening up and it felt great. I realised afterwards that I was (or am) falling for her. She's smart, kind, beautiful, funny,... We share same interests and she seems to have some Aspie traits.
Last Monday I ran into her when I was waiting for the metro. When arriving at the train station she was like: "Don't take this personally, but I'm meeting up with someone." I didn't see that one coming and do what I always do in a certain situation: act weird and go away . Since then I'm trying to avoid. This evening she came up to me at the train station. She apologized and tried to explain herself. Here comes the but.... She also said that she meets up with a guy she has an eye on...

I really don't know how to act. I like her but I don't want to fall for her. It would complicate things. Especially since she's after another guy.

Real Nick,

I am assuming your single here. Obviously I don't know the women, but women tend to act upon their feelings. Just because they're in a relationship doesn't mean they can't fall for another guy, and then maybe realise the next day they shouldn't have done that. I've experienced this recently with a female friend, who at one stage started flirting madly with me, then told me she shouldn't do it because it would mess up some of the work we do. Every so often she still says 'I love you' etc.

The best thing to do is to make this women see you as a man with option, who has other girls in his life, and is not going to bend over backwards for her. And the best way to do this is to become a man with options, get out there and meet people, and if possible have this woman see you out with another girl. I'm not talking about using other women to show off, but rather by living a life that demonstrates to her that you having something going on, something of value to offer people, that you're out there socialising, available perhaps, but in no way needy. It will make you feel better in any case, and if she is in any way interested (or her current relationship breaks down sometime) she may well start falling for you for real.

Hope that helps

This may be easier said than done, but I would just come right out and ask her out... see if she wants to go grab a coffee or dinner and see where it goes. Keep it casual, act like it's no big deal. If she says ok, and doesn't say anything like "Just as friends, right??", then you are ok to slowly raise the stakes depending on how you get along. The worst that can happen is she might say no or she's involved with somebody else, in which case you know she's not interested and don't have to stress out about it anymore.