Adventures with two bike clubs

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I am now going on my 9th week of riding my bicycle two nights a week with two different informal bicycle groups. For the most part I have kept to myself. I know that the more I have in common with someone the closer I will be to them. I must also have empathy and interest in that person. So far I have found none. Which is perfectly acceptable. I am happy about the fact that I did not invade anyone's psychic space in this group. But at the same time I really did not reach out to anyone in particular. Now that I view as a true mistake because I really could have gotten to know some people on a different level. I don't view this as a disaster, only a lesson. I did not make anyone look at me weird, nobody outcasted like what used to happen all the time in my past. I simply did not find anything in common with any of them.


However.....I also realize that this bike club is a stepping stone to something larger. I decided that I wanted to get involved in the great outdoors as a hobby. I already do other various activities, however bicycling is one of the very few things that I have the logistical wherewithal to do on a weekly basis. Working in retail does not afford you the opportunity to go out every weekend. So, with that in mind I'm going to keep plugging until I hit paydirt.

Good luck!

I never learned how to ride a bicycle, but I participate weekly in basketball, jogging (whether on the treadmill or track), and weightlifting at my local Y. I have gone there for years, but I've never interacted much with anyone there except their former member relations manager, who is about the nicest woman ever and could make anyone feel at home.

There's always that tug and pull that perhaps I should try to be more social, but then the fear that I'll come across weirdly. I posted a couple threads about being torn about that. The latter fear tends to win.

Its all about C.E.I. Commonality Empathy and Interest. If you like to play videogames then you should hang out with gamers. If you detest al things mainstream then you should be a hipster. Bottom line you need to be a planet in your own orbit that is not shy but at the same time not psychically invading another's space. If you really like basketball then you should hang out with other people who really like to play basketball and talk about basket ball. I'm sure you can see where I am going with this.


You have to develop yourself first and then do a self inventory I think before you go out and make new friends.

I'm glad you're feeling good about this and not blaming yourself. Sometimes a group just isn't the right one for close friendships.

True, there are a number of factors that go into that though.