My past

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I started public school in 2nd grade, back when I had little control over my aspergers. I would throw fits, rip stuff up, throw my shoes, etc. It was BAD. I stayed in school up until 4th grade, when I was pulled out for homeschooling. After being homeschooled for two years, I went back to a new public school for 7th grade where nobody would remember me. By that time, I had grained more control over my aspergers. I was incredibly calm and hardly ever talked, unlike my past self. I was a very good student, and people seemed to like me. But the thing was, in was so scared of turning back into my past self. By 8th grade, I had started wearing makeup and doing my hair up crazy nice, and I was always worrying about what people thought about me. I was a very quiet person with ful social skills, and for some reason i was scared that my aspergers would show.

Now I'm in 9th grade, and I am at a school with people from middle school and....people from my elementary school and guess what? They still remember me! Now I'm more insecure than ever, and I'm constantly worried about what people think about me. And I also got diagnosed with anxiety disorder. I feel like my life has never been so hard before, I don't even know what to do anymore.

Those years can be a trying time to say the least.I was pulled out to be homeschooled as well,though I did not have the same issues as yours,but I was rather isolated and had few friends.I am familiar with anxiety,the fear of how people perceived me was awfull and crippling,I still sometimes experience a tinge of it as an adult,though not nearly as badly,maintaing an image can be exhausting.You mention they still remember you,what has your interactions been like with them now,how have they been tword you?

Everyone seems to like me but I'm not sure. I also have social anxiety so I'm always thinking negative things about how other people pecieve me. I was also pulled out of public school again, last week.