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Summer_Twilight
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23 Oct 2013, 10:39 am

I have several friends who on the Autism Spectrum who I do things with on a normal basis. One of them shares the same beliefs that I do and so we have connected based on that.

Most recently, this friend has seemed to act funny with another friend and I. For instance, I went over to their house for a holiday party. Prior to going over there, they called me up and talked me into not dominating the conversation. This was because they knew I was looking for a job and had many connections. Then I went over to their house and they practically ignored me and boasted about having lots of luck spending more time with NTs vs people on the spectrum. They then looked at me and said "No offense." Finally, about a half hour into the party, they kept asking me if I had found a ride to a local train station.

I was greatly annoyed by that.

Another of our's friend had noticed that they did not seem too happy to be around him. In fact, he said that they just seemed to be angry the last two times they were together.

1. He told me that they went to a movie over the summer and they arrived and said "I am not doing this again." Then after the movie, they had seemed to not bother to talk to them while my friend offered to bring them back to the local train station.
2. My other friend had a birthday party a week and a half ago at a nice restaurant and this person seemed to do several things that were alarming.

- Called me up instead of my other friend having the birthday to say that they were late
-Invited two of their friends to the party who my other friend did not invite
-Did not bother to say hello to the birthday boy or talk to them
-Stayed for 30 minutes to eat, hang out with one of their friends.
-Sat down at our table instead of the birthday boy's.

1. What do you think is going on?
2. How should my other friend and I communicate with this person? My other friend wants to know what to say in a polite manner.



ImAnAspie
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26 Oct 2013, 4:12 am

It sounds to me like he doesn't want to be friends anymore - and based on how rude he's been, I'm not sure if I'd want to be his friend either. Honestly, I'm sure there are much nicer people out there you could be friends with. Don't put up with being treated like a nuisance. You're worth more than that. Build your self esteem and leave the rude losers behind. Surround yourself with genuine, nice people and you'll be far better off, I'm sure.


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BeauZa
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26 Oct 2013, 4:19 am

It sounds like you need to start a dialogue with this friend of yours, and see what's up.
You could begin the conversation like this: "we've noticed that you've been acting a bit different lately - is something troubling you?"
If something is indeed troubling him, he should come right forward and tell you about it, at which time you can help him to the best of your abilities; it might take him some time to open up about it, in which case be patient. If he continues to be aloof, stretching into weeks and months, it might be best to let the friendship come to a gentle finish.


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