Having problems with emotions

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Okay, I don't think I really want to introduce myself (kinda too ashamed to show my actual name or my common nickname), so the only thing I am going to say is that I have Aspergers. That and I am Russian, so please don't mind my horrible English (it's not my native language yadda yadda).

Anyway... I have a REALLY serious problem regarding my emotion control, which might as well be missed to my lack of social skills; I am rather sensitive to criticism and insults. This has lessened over time (now when I was a kid...), but I can still cry a little when someone offends me somehow, which is REALLY embarassing since I'm, you know, a male teenager.

Not sure if my Aspergers is the problem, though. My dad thinks that's because of my lack of physical and psychological endurance, and he kinda does have a point. But still, what can I do with that?

That and I speak really fast. Seriously, some people said I sound like an Asian (I AM Asian, but still).

I'm extremely sensitive to criticism, too. It's especially bad for someone like me who'd into the arts. I'm a musician and writer. It's bound to come up that people will be blunt and say my work sucks. I have to expect that. I may not like it, but I have to accept it. It is hard to take, though.

Take comfort in knowing there are others like you on the spectrum. You are not alone.

Hello! Your English is very good, and is perfectly readable and understandable. You need not worry about that.

In the past few days I have come to realize a few of the lies I've told myself over the years to explain why I'm different. One of them is exactly what you're describing.

My lie? "I have a terrible Irish temper." The truth is that I do not. What I have are autistic melt-downs. The scenarios is always the same for me. It is triggered by too much input to properly process, and this leads to a cascading series of mental failures that leave me feeling confused, and out of control. I realized this 4 days ago.

I don't know how to control them, yet, so I can not be of any help to you there. But what I can tell you is that this is not because you are weak. You and I are both _relatively_ weak when compared to your father's capacity to deal with too many confusing or contradictory external inputs.

But you and I are also likely stronger than your father in other regards. My capacity for analysis, for example. I doubt he comes close. Maybe he does, so if it is not that where I excel, it would surely be something else. You are the same. You have some strengths and some weaknesses. Focus on what you do well, and try not to hold yourself to others' standards. That is unfair to you.

And, if you happen to figure out how to prevent or control the melt-downs, please let me know. It's one of my priorities to figure out and avoid.

Regarding psychological endurance: Though I have toughened up to criticism over the decades, I too remain sensitive to it. While I never cried--such was absolutely impermissible in Texas when I was growing up--I did learn to put myself in situations where I can avoid people who do such things--normally lower-class people (middle and upper class people have different social pathologies).

Another thing I do, particularly in my frequent political-type discussions, when I get insulted is always to claim the moral high ground in terms of my behavior. That way, a few well-chosen words--at least to anybody with any class--immediately puts them on the defensive.

Since I've grown thicker skin, and have learned not to associate with people who would behave in such a manner, I don't deal much with insults much in public. But depending on who and where you are being insulted, you may be able to use this method in your situation. It works if you do it right.

Such behavior is childish, and the adult version of the cooties game. The people who employ such language should grow up, and I tell them so. It is a matter of treating the childish the way we would errant children.

As far as physical endurance: Go out and walk, or get a weight set for your apartment. I walk now, and lifted weights for years. Both are good stress relievers, and provide a calming effect, at least for me.

Good luck.

This one is simple - you are a male teenager - that's when all the emotions kick in and you don't know whether you are a kid or a man. Your dad is just suggesting that when all this settles down (it will, in time) you are better off trying to land on the tough/capable side than the sensitive/needy side. He's not wrong either. Trouble is you will be what you will be. My advice? Roll with it, remember your dad loves you and is only trying to help and make peace with yourself, whoever you are.