Think before you speak, quite literally!

Post Reply New Topic

Yes, I think through a bunch of possibilities/talking points before engaging in most social encounters. If I'm not careful I'll end up trying to plan for various contingencies in a long chain or tree, which is hardly ever useful as the responses are usually not what I expect and the conversation ends up going somewhere entirely different. "No battle plan survives contact with the enemy", and all that.

Hi,
I'm NT but my boyfriend is AS. He made to chioce to be sociable rather than a recluse as he says these are the only 2 options for him.
He says when he's alone for weeks/months he feels lonely so wants to socialize but when he's out he wishes he was at home so he's not comfortable/happy with either really.
He chooses to be sociable so he says he starts to "rehearse' a week or so before...........it takes alot of energy! He also gets more anxious when someone's there that he didn't expect or has nothing in common with as he won't have a ""script"" to fall back on! The thing i do notice is that he's very attentive to who ever he's talks to as he's concentrating so hard and he also comes accross as being rude as while he's concentrating he seems to ignore if anyone else speaks which isn't true, he's just focussing on his "act".
If you didn't know he had AS you would not guess it! He has ""practised"" for almost fifthy years and says he can't really tell what is real or not at times.

I do this constantly...and I think many people to it to some degree. I feel it improves my confidence in that I'm able to prepare for situations. Before I go see a friend or attend a social event, I always plan in advance what to say to them, what to talk about, mention, etc. It's pretty rare that I enter a social situation without thinking about it first. That's why I like planned events, especially when I know who's coming; if I know the types of people who will be there, I can adjust your conversations accordingly.

I also have to think about what I'm going to say before I talk, or else I'll end up stuttering.

I used to say a lot of outlandish and stupid things that I thought of on the spot to entertain people, and as a result I was told to think before I spoke. That really confused me because I always saw NTs spontaneously saying similar things and I didn't really get why I wasn't getting the same positive social feedback.

I don't practice. I just like to recreate an scenario, and with all possible options that could happen.
I have recreated in my mind lots of conversations. So, if I get to have someone that is actually a good person, I already have them prepared.
Lots of conversations. I also like to plan things, and to know, or have an idea of what could happen. I dislike very much uncertainty.

I don't practice. I just like to recreate an scenario, and with all possible options that could happen.
I have recreated in my mind lots of conversations. So, if I get to have someone that is actually a good person, I already have them prepared.
Lots of conversations. I also like to plan things, and to know, or have an idea of what could happen. I dislike very much uncertainty.

It's ingrained in me now. I do rehearse "bullet points" on some occasions, but my mouth has been known to get ahead of my brain at times.