Housemate + Constipation + Tactful advice

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So my housemate's daily bowel movement is usually announced by wretched screams. He appears to have fairly severe constipation which is furthermore evidenced by the general state of the toilet after his use.

Thankfully ive been here for a good while so I cant be accused of trolling. The main issue here is that its a little harrowing to hear the death throes of a man in scatological agony. It also does nothing for my concentration. I want to recommend magnesium citrate (laxative effect) but have no idea how to do so in a tactful manner. Moreover the toilet generally looks post apocalyptic after he's finished so it impacts me since I have OCD

Okay so how should I go about this?

EDIT: It needs to be tactful. Experience suggests that NT's resent this sort of thing so I cant just hand him laxatives.

Last edited by binaryodes on 12 Jan 2014, 4:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You might want to invest in an extra large bottle of Metamucil caplets, as well as several stalks of celery, several heads of lettuce, a case of kidney beans, and anything else high in dietary fiber, then give these items to him.

You could buy a new toilet brush and stand and tell your housemate that you've got a new one because the old one didn't seem to be working too well. If the toilet bowl faux pas continues, keep mentioning the new purchase every now and again in conversation. If that doesn't work then you are dealing with a complete asshat and so the direct approach will be required. You simply don't leave number two all over the bowl living with your family, never mind in a shared house. In terms of stool softener/laxative - anybody who tolerates painful prolonged constipation without the aforementioned is obviously a cheapskate. You could buy your own packet and leave it in places that he/she can see it yet doesn't look like it's been deliberately put out for him/her to see it. They may ask to use it. Other than that there's not much you can do.

Print off an information sheet from NHS Direct on the subject of constipation and leave it lying on the kitchen table or by the tv remote.

You could tell him you are worried about his health. He could run into significant health problems if this keeps up.

Thats a good idea - anal prolapse being one thing. Also pleasantly surprised that this thread is playing out with a straight face

We need the witty posters. I enjoy the humor; I am not good at providing it.

I generally try not to be witty in public. I once made a joke about cyclists and latex in front of my french teacher for instance. It had nothing to do with condoms but obviously it wasnt received well

I get better responses when I don't try for humor. Yeah, it's disaster time when I try.

Better yet, print off stuff showing severe hemorrhoids and let him know that straining to defecate is a prime cause of them. Start eating a high-fiber diet, avoid foods that bind you up and learn healthy bowel habits while you're young.

Does he like prune cake? Have you recorded the wretched screams for contribution to a sound-effects library?


About the toilet cleaning, I'd take the direct approach. You know that four-part escalating communication tool, right? Neutral observation -> description of effect on you --> request --> consequences. Or something like that.

BF (quirky NT) had been single without roommates for a LONG time before I started sniffing around. His toilet technique involved letting marks disappear with repeated flushing; his toilet "brush" was one of those gizmos with replaceable cleaning-goop-saturated pads.

"I noticed that your toilet bowl is prone to collecting skid marks."
(For the effect bit, I stammered something about finding it unappetizing.)
"Could we try using the gizmo as a brush, even when the cleaning-goop is depleted?"

I never got to the consequences step; if BF had been a jerk about it, I wouldn't have continued seeing him, but I also wouldn't have drawn that connection overtly. A flatmate who's not hoping to get into your pants will likely require a more fervent conversion effort.

Make him a kale smoothie. Use bananas & berries. I have one daily. No more regularity issues here.

Did you know that autistics can have GI issues. It is being researched.