I realized just how much of an outcast I am

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At school on Thursday we had early release. We had absolutely *nothing* scheduled for my AP Physics except for eating cereal and doing whatever. I was the only person in the class who wasn't socializing in a little group. I was just walking around, or practicing Chinese on the chalkboard. Has anyone else here had some sort of revelation like this?

I think for most of us the revelation is merely an aspect of every day life.

yup, it's an epiphany I always have

Happens to me every day.

I remember when that would happen, and I'd think "this should probably bother me, but strangely, it doesn't". And the fact that I wasn't bothered by it...bothered me. Very confusing, getting upset because I wasn't upset over something I should be.

I find myself at a loss when I have nothing to do. I wind up reading or writing or doing puzzles. I hated those times at school when there was "dead time," with no academic learning going on.

Exact reason I quit band, even though I otherwise had a passion for it. The percussion section was like a zoo - you had to fight for the good parts, be a dominating male, be the stereotype... - and we only played for forty-five out of 90 minutes, the rest being left for socialization.

I find that teachers in North Carolina are much better at teacing the entire period than Rhode Island teachers, who probably taught for seventy out of ninety minutes on average.

I'll end up in those situations scribbling "why am I here?" on whatever paper is at hand, or beginning some piece of pointless writing. Today I began a short story about the cultural significance of Chick-Fil-A in suburban North Carolina while the rest ofthe class was doing some stupid group assignment in their God-awful friend groups...

Yes. I go out to a club, sit, stand, walk around and enjoy myself. I deeply resent it when anyone actually wants to talk to me though.

I havent dated for years, and lately, I have a growing realization that I have no expectation of getting anything out of a relationship, so if I see an attractive woman, I have no urge to actually interact with her.

There was a dichotomy for years of not being interested in dating but still trying to flirt and socialize. To spin the tires, so to speak, if only for practice. Now its kind of pointless. So I am at that point... Why continue to go out?

I have this epiphany every year, and it always hits me as a new realization....
I live in a small community, and I always think that I don't have any friends, but every time I go out there is always people who stop me to say Hi, or ask what I've been up to.
Recently I attended a party which an acquaintance suggested I go to. I said I probably wouldn't know anyone there, but he came and got me so I went. I realized that I knew everyone there, and they all were happy to see me.
That made me feel good, and I thought Wow, I've got a lot of friends!

My birthday was yesterday.
Many of these people knew that, yet no one called....only family members.
I then realized that none of these people have ever come to visit me. I've invited them and waited hours for their arrival, even cleaned my house knowing I'm having company. Then when I call they say that they have made other plans, or don't feel well, or they forgot. They have never come.
Then I give up on them.
Yet when they see me again, they are all happy to see me, and the cycle starts again........
I don't get it. They are so cruel.
I hate them all.

I had such an epiphany when I was about 12 or so. I remember it quite distinctly. Unfortunately, it is no longer a realization that I re-discover every day, but the standard against which everything gets judged by.

I used to get this occasionally. Now, Facebook makes it everyday.

Ya, a daily thing. We have get togethers at work and I end up with the quiet programmers

I've always been the one to be alone when it comes to small groups.

Yeah, I'm the same. I always bring a book with me so I'll have something to do when situations like that occur.
I think lunch is probably the worst time, especially if you sit alone and some people (who have good intentions, but nonetheless) invite you to sit with them every 5 minutes.

I hear that! Today someone even had the audacity to ask "why noone wanted to sit with me." As if it was someone else's fault I was sitting by myself! Imbeciles, all of them!

I had that a few weeks ago.