Improving conversation skills

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How can a young adult with AS learn conversation skills? I'm decent at talking one-on-one with other people, but in a group of 3 or more I'm always completely silent. Just following the conversation is difficult and contributing to it is impossible. I know practice is supposed to help - at least that's what NTs always tell me to do - but it doesn't. In the past couple of years I've spent a lot of time in groups where people talk with each other, but the result is always the same: I NEVER say anything. (The only exception is when someone directly asks me a question.) I'm slowly starting to believe my conversation skills will never get any better if I just try to participate in group discussions. Is my situation as hopeless as it seems to be?

I find it's easier if you sort of detach yourself and vaguely pay attention to what they are saying so you don't overthink, and say what pops in there. Don't worry about sounding stupid because if you contribute enough people will start engaging you. Maybe that's just me though.

You might try taking an acting class. My parents made me take acting classes the summers after 3rd and 4th grades because I wasn't speaking up in class. Really helped me to open up more.

I've been acting 25 years of my life. People should be taking acting classes from ME! In fact, the best actors in hollywood are found to be introverted: Clint Eastwood, Tom Hanks (to name exactly 2 people ). Todays actors are all image and have 0 talent (they suck).

Anyways, what can help? Don't know! I was in a meeting yesterday for 40 minutes and I didn't say a word. It was like 1 idea was on the table but 5 of us were all thinking 1 thought - each time someone spoke, it was extending a thought (sometimes going over the same thought 5 times).

In other words, I just stopped trying and spent more time picking up pieces of what people are talking about. Best I can do. Until then, one on one is the way to go and TRYING to be a group doesn't work. I've switched roles, at work, and in 2 weeks have done more work then 5 months (I got a lot of one on one training)

I come out borderline on an Aspie test-- I'm not a "real" Aspie, so I don't know if I have any credibility but I've worked my tail off honing social skills over the years. So here's my 2 cents:



One thing that helps me is to focus on what just one or two of the people are saying.

Inevitably a question about what they're saying will eventually arise in my mind. I'll wonder about something they said. When a slight pause occurs in the conversation, I'll ask the question out loud to the person (as long as it is not something overly personal etc. ).
Like people might be talking about what they did over the weekend. Maybe someone mentions briefly they went to see a particular movie. But I haven't seen the movie. So I might say, " I haven't seen that movie. Was it any good?" It took me years to realize that the questions arising in my mind could actually make good fodder for conversation.

People like it when you ask them about themselves or their interests. Asking questions will almost always help your popularity. (This was a hard-won truth for me.)

I learned conversation skills by simply mimicing others. It's relatively easy for me to memorize lists and facts, so I just memorized phrases, stored them in my brain's filing cabinet, and loosely repeat them when engaged in small talk. I still have major problems with verbal communication though.