Something about perspective

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With friends and relationships? I get so emotionally involved and I know how to behave in different situations but I get so worked up I freak out and can't control myself and I was told it was a lack of perspective and Idk what that means. Any ideas on what that means? I'm tired of people thinking I'm crazy because I get so upset and emotional and don't know what a good emotional distance or perspective on things is...

Here's my take on having perspective, but idk if it's quite what you're looking for. I ask myself these questions("X" obviously being the upsetting circumstances)..

- If I died tomorrow, would I regret "X"?
- If "X" happened to an outside party, then how would I view it?
- Have I experienced "X" before? Am I exaggerating likely outcomes?

This helps me.

You are being encouraged to do something that you are supposedly clinically incapable of. To step outside your own head and see something from another person's point of view. According to the diagnostic criteria, our Theory Of Mind and Empathy deficits make that a neurological impossibility for an autistic person.

I think we do learn these things to a certain degree over a lifetime, but admittedly, it's not our default response to an emotional stressor.

If it's impossible then I'm screwed
I just want to be able to keep people at a proper distance and when things don't work out I want to be able to let things go. I don't wanna just be upset over nothing and people think I'm crazy because I get so upset over things I'm sick of it. Even people who say they are my friends don't trust me..