I've alienated so many people

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Does anyone else feel this way?

As I sit here wondering how I can make friends I can't help but think of all the people who might have been my friend if I was more normal.

Yeah. I'd also have me a ton of friends if I was normal.

All my life I've hanged out only with what society would call outcasts, misfits and freaks.

I live in the suburbs now so there are no outcasts, misfits or freaks here.

That makes me utter ably and painfully alone.

Yep. I figure there's plenty more where those came from, though.

Dreaming of 'friends' - definition, a glorified concept (in the vast majority of cases) that serves to beat the dreamer with their own self-created stick.

I like people, but most are so utterly boring and fixed in space/time that I wouldn't really like to be 'friends' with them in reality.

Maybe I've got too high a value on the term 'friends' - someone you can go and have a pint with is not necessarily a friend. Regardless, I'll take quality over quantity any day, and if that means I end up feeling alone, nuts to it.

I always find a colleague to talk with when at college but when it comes to making friends, socializing with them outside of college that is where I struggle. I don't enjoy socializing but that's what you have to do to make and keep friendships. Also I'm not good at helping others in their time of need

^^Yup.^^ Even if I had the social skills to connect with more people, I wouldn't have the inclination because I can't abide idiots, and that covers 95% of the planet's population, including the liars and socially manipulative game players and the drama queens.

I've been feeling bad about alienating people lately because I am all alone except for family. Also, I am learning to expect that all relationships are temporary except those of your immediate family (parents and siblings and offspring). Scientifically, this would make sense because we are here to pass on our genes. We need to be bonded to people who are the most genetically similar to us. I see friendship as a temporary alliance that is, hopefully, beneficial to both people involved. I do not get emotionally attached to people anymore though. I think it is unrealistic. Perhaps the difference between us and neuro-typical people is that we don't play the game of pretending that we care when we don't and call it being polite.

least you're aware of it jerry.......or is that not worth it?

awareness is good it means I'm growing.

but it also feels like a burden, like a weight on my shoulders saying don't forget it's all your fault.

There was a common joke in the Army. A guy would walk around until he found a piece of paper. He would pick it up and look at it. Then he would discard it and say, "That isn't it". He was oblivious to everything else. The Army doctors tried everything they could to cure him, but they finally gave up. They discharged him from the Army and put his discharge papers on the ground in front of him. He picked them up and said, "This is it" and went home.

Aspies spent a lot of mental processing time trying to analyze what NT do more naturally. This can seem selfish and even narcissistic to others. Others can feel hurt and even betrayed. It can be quite demanding to attempt to portray oneself to others so that others find the portrayal something with which they can feel at ease.

The key is to find others with whom a facade personality is not needed. There are two main reasons this is difficult. Most people are incapable of tolerating our differences. Which makes the pool of potential friends much smaller. The other problem is that we live in a world where hardly anyone has the time for a friend.

I would suggest being yourself without apology (for example, I do not restrict my vocabulary). However, one can also show humor, common courtesy, and kindness.

If you go through enough "pieces of paper", eventually you should be able to say, "This is it".

Good joke.

We do over analyze.

Maybe that's why we don't run the world.

If you'd been normal all your friends would be normal boring dipshits
and you'd be a normal boring dipshit as well!

I have had friends and
(trust me here!)

NT friends will drop you like a bag of burning s**t!
...if there's anybody cooler
or smarter
or better connected
or richer
or nearer

The problem, I believe, lies in your perception of yourself as being universally popular
in the realm of your imagination where you are 'normal'

when in fact
the realm of your perception is a wondrous sensory experience
and you are truly 'abnormal' in the best possible way!


Don't waste your time yearning for what is impossible.
Turn the searchlight of your dreams onto yourself

NTs always put you in some kind of pecking order behind a dozen other people.

It seems basically impossible to gain their trust as well. Like you have to have saved their life or something.

Fear and self-hatred are my worst enemies. It's caused me to unintentionally push people away.

This has happened to me many times. I feel like people mistake me for some sort of maniac!

Oh yeah.

My social past is just one big long string of Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda episodes