Can you tell me what happened here?

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Okay this is going to be a long post but can you please have patience and read it. Thanks


I used to be a member of this health club and used the facilities gym regurley. The staff members/personal trainers who worked at the front reception were for the most part friendly (although some were not so nice) and greeted you with a smile when you entered the facility. One day I entered the health club and at reception there was a large group of staff members working that day. One girl (I think she just started working at the gym) greeted me with a very warm smile and said "hi". A few days later I walked into the health club (it was very quiet at reception that day) and immediately the same girl walked towards me slightly and said "hi you alright" in an excited manner. I then replied "yes" in an awkward kinda way and she "stopped smiling looked down and said In a bored tone of voice "good". I then said nothing and walked upstairs to the gym.

When I saw her around the gym with other staff members I observed her behaviour and for the most part she acted like I was invisible to her. I even tried to be friendly and said "bye" to her a few times when leaving the healthclub and she would just say "alright" in a uninterested tone of voice. When I was in the gym I would see her being very friendly to this other guy but she would NEVER go out of her way to talk to me. I even entered the health club a few months later and when she saw me at the entrance she walked into another room. That and she walked quickly past me once like I did not even exist.


I need to mention as well that once the girl and her co worker were doing a survey at the gym. They talked to all members using the gym that day. She and her co worker came over to talk to me (because they had to). At first she smiled and seemed nice when she started talking to me but then her face turned sour and she looked intimidatingly at me. A week prior I did however glance at her when she working in reception and she looked back at me (holding her gaze towards me)







This was a long time ago (4 years ago) but I was just curious as to why she started behaving unfriendly towards me when she seemed so nice to start with? I was attracted to this girl



And YES I did make the pigheaded assumption that she might have found me attractive when she greeted me with very warm smile at the gym

Maybe she realized that you thought she was attracted to you, and decided to discourage that thought by acting less friendly. Also, employees in this sort of position are expected to act friendly when you first come in, but it's an act, so you shouldn't expect them to act friendly the whole time you are there.

I'm NT and if I was there to see her face and hear her tone of voice etc I could probably give you an accurate answer but just from a written account it's going to pretty much be a guess.
I think the most likely thing is that she said hi to you in her enthusiastic 'just started a new job' voice then the second time she said hello as she remembered you. Now she probably sees that many people that she just talks to you like most of the other customers. The other guy you mention may be a friend of hers or someone she fancies. I don't think she has a problem with you or anything. Maybe you are looking a little too much into her expression when it could just be 'bitchy resting face' (that's a thing btw google it!).
Either that or she mistook your awkward reply to her as you being really rude but I think it's quite unlikely that she'd go out of her way to be unfriendly to you on the basis of that.

I did get depressed over this once.

I'm sorry to hear that and that it's still bothering you 4 years down the line.
What is it specifically that's playing on your mind?

It doesn't bother me now

I find I always end up with this sort of interaction with gym staff, somehow it just always ends up awkward. I prefer not to talk to people at the gym (even when I run in to people I know outside of the gym). Annoyingly even without talking to the gym staff this still seems to happen.

I know what you mean that it doesn't feel great. It happen less now I really make the effort to try and focus on my routine, but I always seem to do something to get that reaction from the gym staff and as I go regular it comes obvious they have recognised me and then they try to keep there distance even though it's quite clear I don't go up to people in the gym and start talking to them or anything!