"You smell terrible." How would you want to hear t

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If your body odor (or shirt pits or whatever) regularly smelled bad, and you had *no* idea, would you want to know?

If so, how would you want to be told?

I presume the guy in question showers pretty often, so it might just be his shirts and jacket.

My bf has noticed as well, and would say something (easier to hear from another man, maybe?) but 1) it's never the right time, and 2) the guy typically counters any feedback *immediately* and would likely start citing made-up statistics about what percentage of the population has body odor and whether or not it should bother other people.

Then he's nuts for arguing. Everybody has BO most cultures have adopted the stance of ridding it. He can stand alone with a large circle of people avoiding him though. As for telling someone, dude you smell it's bad go wash and use better deoderant daily please.

Personally I'd rather smell body odor than any perfume or fragrant soap. I find artificial smell really invasive.

I wouldn't mention it to your friend. He probably knows, but doesn't care.

I didn't know and got told by the office manager. It was horrifying. So I showered every morning and went to work with my hair wet, and never wore the same thing twice. That was in addition to and probably caused by my persistent panic attacks. But there's no excuse, not in this world. Yes, I would rather a friend told me.

Although you could get him some Wet Wipes and tell him he's gotta use them daily. I'm retired so I don't have to be perfect any more.

Heaven is where you can reek and burp.

farmers don't seem to mind.

farmers don't seem to mind.

I would definitely want to be told, it is horrifying to me to think I stink - and I know I do, because I can smell me, so I do what I can to sort it out but it's still very upsetting to think my presence is making other people uncomfortable.

If you do tell him please also include examples of what he can do to stop it from happening or fix it when it does happen.

I shower daily, spend a fortune on deodorants (when I was using non natural ones I sweated a lot more) and will use perfume if necessary even though I agree in general the synthetic smells can be as bad. Still, the inevitable daily stress will make me produce smelly molecules. Funny this hardly ever happens at home and if I smell at home, it's more 'natural'. Stress stink is the worst.

I woud prefer to be told too. I sweat excessively and thoroughly shower in the morining and use aluminium chloride anti-persperant to combat the wetness, but it worries me that I might smell. I've mentioned it to people and they say I don't. thank goodness. I never wear the same clothes twice. On hot days I go home and change my work shirt at lunch time. Thankfully I have a uniform and look like I come back in wearing the same shirt.

Some people's comments about not caring reminded me of this Roger McGough poem:

Stink

Sometimes I don't smell so good.
It's not that I don't care about
personal hygiene. I do. It's just that
sometimes the body catches up on me.
Like when I'm out all day and
refuse to pay for a wash and
brush up at the local municipal
on lack of principal. And hiding
away in some unfamiliar unkempt
saloon I console myself
there's no such thing as bad breath.
All breath is good. And sweat
means the body functions as it
should. I drink my bitter.
Put a pork pie to the knife.
Far sweeter than the stink of
death, is the stink of life.

@hurtloam, what a terrific poem!

@leafplant, thanks for the idea of giving him specific examples. I'm guessing it's the shirts. He might not wear deo at all.

When I have to get through a day dressed up, I wear THREE different deodorants. OTOH, there are weeks when I go days without full showers, if I don't have to be around people. Was glad when bf mentioned that my hair was smelling like it could use a wash. But then, he and I are pretty frank (respectfully so) about body topics and both welcome the input.

This guy is trying to date, so maybe I can use that angle?

Btw, are there women who dig pocket protectors?