Finding a good friend

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I never really had much of a social life. Growing up, I had few close friends but we drift apart as I went to a different secondary school. By the time I was in grade 9, I had no one to talk to. I didn't fit in, nor was I sure if I really wanted to fit in. One of the things I recalled was when a couple of Filipinas invited me to hang out with them, hoping it would last. Sadly when I looked for them to chat and join a social group, they were gone. I couldn't believe they abandon me! I thought they were my friends! How could they do that to me? It took a long time to realize they were not as nice as I believed they were, they used me as a friend for their personal gain and never bother to form a friendship. I also was friends with a girl who was from the Middle East and abandoned me. Another girl befriended me and left me. I guess no one wanted to befriend me because either they thought I was a weirdo or I was a loser to them.

After that, I felt lonely, depressed, hopeless and suicidal. I hate to tell you that, but I thought about killing myself because I could not stand people being cruel or indifferent.

I've had troubled encounters with classmates, from being ignored to being teased to feeling like I'm despised. No wonder people are cruel sometimes, especially teens. It had a negative impact on me, as I would lose my temper right away and attempt to skip school. I remember rushing the last few years of school, hoping to get away from those dickheads.

Whenever people wanted to hang out with me, they're usually a couple years older than me. I guess I'm better off with people who are a few years older than with people my own age. I don't know why.

By the time I finished school, I was happy but I've had difficulty controlling myself, as I would flip out easily. I couldn't look at how sour I was and how I hated myself for letting it happen. I'm guilty for behaving that way. Why was I being miserable? Why am I feeling inferior? I shouldn't be surprised, but I want to stop being a sour puss for once and for all.

Maybe I will never be fulfilled with something I wanted, at least I could change and cope with my struggles. Today I have no friends and would like to have a close friend. I always had been an introvert and had limited social skills. I was never the kind of person wanting to have a social life. I've always struggle to tell the difference between the good people and the people who are in sheep's clothing. The people who are in sheep's clothing claim to be nice and want to be your friend but all of a sudden they dump you and realize they only use you for their personal gain. The good people might be kind and may want to be your friend. I've had trust issues and now I don't know if I actually wanted friends or not because in the long run what if they're only interested in parties? What if they only care about winning the jackpot or other things? I'm not interested in either of those things.

It's so hard to make friends sometimes. Some people care only about socializing with those who are rich like them, who are privileged like them and who are popular. Others care only about parties and nothing else. One day I will find a good friend.

hiya Berry welcome to our club you will find many people who want to be your friend here.

I share the same problems with you Berry. I too, had trust issues and more often than not, from my experiences, I had people who were (pretending to be) friends and then realized they only socialized with me when they had something in common, but then after that common bond is lost (them moving away, going out of town for new life/job, etc.), then they simply just forget that I even exist. It is very depressing and I agree. While I understand that most people make new friends and friends (rarely if at all) last forever, I just came to the conclusion of just giving up this thing called "social life" and lived out most of my life in recluse (usually with family) and never bothered to get new friends fearing the same thing will happen (like with previous friendships). It was just too depressing for me to dwell or to think about the reality of the situation.

As a result to fill the void created by the lack of a "social life", I've been just trying to do other lonely activities such as gaming and playing an instrument, then I seek to become a master in those to compensate for my social deficiencies. It has come down to reality that I can't get by in life without some level of social networking, having friends and all, so I'm almost left with no choice but to try to make it work (even though I'm certain it will fail). I'm kinda pessimistic by the way (sorry if that bothered you) especially due to many negative life experiences I've been through.

I'm sorry that I don't have better advice to give as I too am in the same boat as you are, but maybe others here will be able to give you even more advice.

I have been dumped by people through out my life who I thought were friends too. Secondary school isn't the only place where you can be rejected. I was rejected by someone I worked with for a while who I thought was a friend when they were never interested in me at all. They said all kinds of things to me that they did not mean next to being two faced and disliked me the whole time.

I was also friends with someone recently for 8 years and they recently abandoned me too. One minute I was like a family member and I was invited to their home on the holidays and the next I was a total stranger.

to paraphrase jung, "humans are a terrible disappointment."

Yeah that is because they are only human

I really don't like the "everyone sucks" mentality.
There are loads of amazing people out there.

It's really helpful to find people who share the same similrities. Do you have an interest that you could share with others?

in 5 decades of living I found precisely one person who appreciated my skillset and being. I walk around my neighborhood and am subject to uncurbed barking dogs and uncurbed upright furless walking dogs that bark stuff at me like "f--- off fa***t!" and "your [sic] weird!" and such. my whole county feels to me like a scene from "deliverance." here, to be different in any way is to be evil.

I don't know how much irony that statement contained, but yeah, if people can't relate to you they won't connect with you sadly, that's true. But it doesn't mean that the humanity is a disappointment. It's cause and effect, people react to you in relation to how you interact with them. It's possible to interact with people in a way that they like you and respect you

it's also possible that you have long lived around a nicer bunch of people.

I went through a similar situation when I was in High School. It was particularly bad for me because all I wanted was ... someone to hang with and just be friends, but the group that I chose to try and make an effort to befriend basically gave me an ... anti-intervention wherein they said Jason why the f**k do you follow us around? Don't you get that we hate you and don't want you around, stop following us and leave us alone.

That hurt real bad and still to this day has impacted my inability to find friendship's.

Please don't feel you're alone and/or that NOBODY will ever want to be your friend (like I did), there's just a lot of as*holes in this world that don't understand, or simply don't care that they're hurting you with such a blunt shut down.

I am older then you, but please PM me if you want to chat. I'd be pleased as punch to make a friend who seems to be a genuinely nice person (i'm talking about you ), and i'm offering my friendship to you cuz I live pretty close to Toronto myself, so if we do get along on the internet for a while it would be nice ... for the both of us i'm sure to have another (or in my case a) in real life friend.

Just don't think your alone and that there aren't other people that don't want to be your friend. I don't know a thing about you but the way you present yourself in text intrigues me as you seem like a very good person whose sadly very hurt and as embarrassing as it is for me to boldly ask you to PM me for a friendship no one deserves to be in the pain we are and i'd like to talk to you because you seem genuine.

"anti-intervention wherein they said Jason why the f**k do you follow us around? Don't you get that we hate you and don't want you around, stop following us and leave us alone. "

The same happened to me.

I actually can say that i don't have childhood friends most of my friends are for college and later, and I have a hand full of them not more, which sometimes is ok. Other times it get's real lonely as my friends hardly share the same interest as I do.
I'm was recently diagnosed and it's really great to know that are others like me.

So if you want to chat, you can pm me, I'm actually looking to make friends with Aspies like me.

welcome to the club

welcome to the club [/quote]

thanks!

Going to college sucks. Most of the people I met in high school were nothing more but acquaintances and everyone at the college seems to have friends that they know from somewhere. I'm going to community college to study more up on being a computer technician so I have my personal reason why I want to go. The issue is that it gets lonely as hell when you have no one to really talk to about your personal issues, and hobbies. Its sucks. You got to power though the hard moments in life. BUT IT WILL SUCK!! !! IF you want to talk, Add me on here as I can understand the struggles with the lack of quality friendships, and college. NT are difficult to interact with IMO because of how native some of them tend to be when they can't understand someone that is outside their realm of "normal".

I had never heard that quote. Thank you; it made my day.