Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

NuclearRedaction
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 39
Location: New York City

28 Apr 2008, 8:01 pm

I'm a regular reader of a discussion board for people who live in my neighborhood. Someone there recently put up a post saying he/she had heard of a "nerd salon" in another city and was interested in organizing one at a bar in our neighborhood. The basic idea would be for people to get together and discuss "nerdy" topics -- which, being an Aspie, is pretty much all I ever care to discuss.

Of course, being an Aspie, the idea of meeting up with a bunch of strangers whom I know only as avatars on a discussion board is fraught with pitfalls as well. What a bunch of urban hipster NTs embrace as "nerdy" (bands and movies I'm not up on? Books I haven't read? Home financing?) might not fit with my brand of nerdiness. On the other hand, it would be nice to find some people who live nearby and with whom I could be myself, maybe even make some friends. But then there's the issue of being open about my Asperger's -- reveal it so other people involved would know what they're dealing with, or stay quiet and maybe have people wonder why I seem a bit odd, even among self-declared nerds?

I should say that I live in a very gentrified neighborhood of a major city, a community where people tend to pride themselves on their open-mindedness, worldliness and tolerance for diversity -- but there can also be a bit of elitism and snobbery involved; sort of an embracing in theory of diversity but a desire to keep anyone TOO different at arm's length.

So, would you:
(A) Go to the "salon" without outing yourself and see what happens;
(B) Go to the "salon" and out yourself there;
(C) Out yourself in the relative anonymity of the discussion board and see how it's received; or
(D) Stuff the entire thing?



hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled

28 Apr 2008, 9:07 pm

I'd probably pick (a) because then, all you are doing is going there to check it out and see how you feel' lurking in person, as it were. :wink: You can always leave. And if people try to draw you out, you can get them to talk about themselves. Most people love to, anyway.


_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner


asplanet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Nov 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,258
Location: Cyberspace, New Zealand

28 Apr 2008, 9:13 pm

This is a hard one, I joined a aspie community near where I live and feel like its a secret meeting, as people generally do not want others to know.

The real problem with this, is until we speak out and help others understand, autism will stay a dirty word to many in the NT world.

The other problem, quite often people in these groups all want help. Yes we can help and support each other, but the real world needs to understand the real issues...

I was going to set up a group for young adults, a sort of nerd suite - but then realized as with my son, people on the spectrum often prefer to be in there own space on the computer...

Maybe needs to be more on line chat times, days... for similar interest etc for things like world of war craft - just a thought!


_________________
Face Book "Alyson Fiona Bradley "


pakled
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,015

28 Apr 2008, 9:24 pm

just go and be yourself. There's nothing wrong with not knowing every detail of what will be discussed. Part of the point of meetings is to exchange information. There would probably be people there that don't know what you've been into. Give yourself a chance to find things in common. Be comfortable. If it's too much, no one says you have to stay...



rifler39
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 16 Mar 2008
Age: 85
Gender: Male
Posts: 168
Location: Moses Lake, WA

28 Apr 2008, 9:25 pm

What kind of lapel pin would be appropriate to discreetly state "I am AS?" People wear yellow ribbons, pink ribbons, flag buttons, Masonic rings and such without drawing much notice, except from those who know and recognise such symbols.

Hmmmm...Alex? 8)

Pops


_________________
Tools are dangerous only while being controlled by a human.


ignisfatuus
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 261
Location: Canada

28 Apr 2008, 9:40 pm

Sounds interesting in premise, but in practice I don't think it would go over well. Why not? Well, "nerds", like a lot of people with Asperger's, have specialized interests. So with everyone attending under the very broad umbrella of "nerd", you're going to have a number of competing interests with most people having little regard for hobbies outside their own. If it was narrowed down to, say, Euro board gaming, then you have a shared platform to build on.

As for the issue of Asperger's, I doubt it will be a problem. Most "nerds" have social issues themselves, and no that is not a stereotype. Attend any D&D night and you'll see what I mean, if you haven't already ;)


_________________
"The world is only as deep as we can see. This is why fools think themselves profound." - R. Scott Bakker, The Judging Eye


NuclearRedaction
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 39
Location: New York City

30 Apr 2008, 6:47 pm

ignisfatuus wrote:
Sounds interesting in premise, but in practice I don't think it would go over well. Why not? Well, "nerds", like a lot of people with Asperger's, have specialized interests. So with everyone attending under the very broad umbrella of "nerd", you're going to have a number of competing interests with most people having little regard for hobbies outside their own. If it was narrowed down to, say, Euro board gaming, then you have a shared platform to build on.

As for the issue of Asperger's, I doubt it will be a problem. Most "nerds" have social issues themselves, and no that is not a stereotype. Attend any D&D night and you'll see what I mean, if you haven't already ;)


Well, the discussion board thread has already devolved into nerds (sci-fi, gaming) vs. geeks (computers). The issue may be moot if they keep going at it like bolsheviks and mensheviks.