Do you get along better with members of the opposite sex?

Post Reply New Topic

Hi everyone

Thought I'd throw this topic out there, more out of curiosity, and to see how many others out there feel the way I do. As social behaviour is something of an obsession of mine, I hope you can indulge me.

I find I get along better with men than I do with women. The only exception of this has been other women who are tomboyish. I seem to have more in common with the interests and hobbies that men find appealing, and find I switch off when most women talk about their interests.

At first I felt that the reason for this was that when I was a child, I found I had more trouble to understand women, as they are more emotionally complex than men, yet my obsessions with understanding human behaviour has allowed me to finally adapt to understand them much better; yet I still find I prefer the company of men.

While I personally don't feel there's anything wrong with women being friends with men, I'm learning that this concept is not always shared with other people; in fact many people will consider you strange for this. Many will tell you it's impossible for a man to befriend a woman, without having to be haunted by the constant desire to sleep with her. I'm starting to believe them, as I've found my guy friends have all eventually come to feel the same way, which is some what annoying, but I'm content to continue being friends with men, as long as they can live with the fact that I'm only here for friendship; which many of them tell me they are.

Yes! I'm wondering if it's a specific gender thing, though (I'm female, always gotten along better with males). I never understood the typical female emotional drama stuff.

In the past I read that members of the opposite sex are in general nicer to each other. Maybe it is instinctive or men being gentlemen, etc.

I am a guy and often get along with women socially. Since I am also gay, I am not really interested in a romantic relationship. Unfortunately, even when you do business with women they always have the husband/boyfriend/fiancee/ex to deal with and soon will cut off contact with me (and often everyone else in the world).

To go off on a tangent but related: I think this is one reason also women have trouble starting businesses - How is a customer supposed to deal with a woman business owner when everything she does has to be approved by her hubby?

You know, I think you're on to something there, good point

I'm heterosexual man and I get along much better socially with women than I do men.
men are always trying to "one up" each other, and the conversation for the most part is so juvenile and abusive.
I feel much more at ease with women, I don't feel like I have to compete for everything. Women on the average seem more interested in intellectual topics.

I don't really get along any easier with any gender really, it's just aukward in general.

I agree with you here; even in this modern world, many women are expected to put their family first, and many give up their careers to do so. I often wonder whether I could ever have children, for the fear of loosing myself. Don't get me wrong, I think I would love to be a mum; I simply wish I could do so, and still have a life of my own. I am finding that I can't relate at all with mothers, as all they talk about is their kids. While I have nothing wrong against their kids, it doesn't interest me as much as them, and can leave a conversation stale.

You know, I've never actually had a gay friend. I've considered having gay friends many times before, and even go out of my way to try and make it work, whenever I meet them, as I think it would be the perfect friendship; a male friend, without the sexual tension. I just haven't managed to 'click' with any yet unfortunately.

I know all too well about the 'one up' behaviour of men, and have often found it to be an odd phenomenon. My guy friends often tell me that being friends with me is refreshing, for the same reason; there's no pressure to compete. The bonus of being a girl, when befriending guys I find, is that they are better behaved around women, so I rarely see anything too juvenile.

Perhaps I have yet to meet women who share my same interests. I've actually had some women tell me that I talk too much about topics that remind them of school, and that it's boring (their words, not mine). I shall continue to keep searching though, because it would be nice to have more female friends.

Male here, and I find I get along easier with the opposite sex. I'm married and my wife is my best friend. I find that I tend to avoid the company of other women for the sake of maintaining trust in the relationship, but that also means I'm limited on the number of friends that I have.

That doesn't really bother me that much, the point being that if you want a lot of friends, you do well to cultivate same-sex friendships as much as possible so that opposite sex relationships don't come into conflict with an exclusive one.

But then don't you have to deal with: I can't be friends with you anymore because hubby gets upset when I am around you at all for any reason at all. Then you just lose a friendship. Also, keeping in mind you are in Australia, maybe it is different. Here in the US, the media expects guys to be sex mad Jim Bobs who just want to hump any woman out there and any woman who wants to keep her husband better keep him "satisfied".

Oh, Oh, Warning Will Robinson!
Hart, once you get married and then have children. you WILL NOT have a life of your own. I have seen this happen with my sister the dentist. She is the one married to Barry the loud, smelly doctor. She used to be very independent before she was married. Now every decision has to go through Barry. She cannot even have home imrpovements made without him saying no even though they can afford them. And all she talks about with us and probably the rest of the world too is how grumpy he is. I really believe that had she not married Barry she would have her dream dental office years ago and would be retired and independently wealthy by now.

Also, once you have small children all conversation is about potty training, potty chairs, diapers, toys, money you don't have anymore, schools, trouble with teachers and if you have a child on the spectrum that is another can of worms. Just look at the Parents discussion and see what I mean. You are right in that parent discussions are rather boring. There is a saying in the child free community I am part of: "your parents could not change the world, they were too busy changing your diapers"

Sorry to go off on a tangent but had to get this in here. And keep looking for a gay male friend, we are a lot of fun!

My best friend is a girl, when she isnt around I hang out with my sister. In college my best friend was a girl but really I just subconsciously wanted to f**k her and when you repress that feeling it comes out in weird ways that are apparently conducive to friendship... untill you stop repressing them.

have always gotten along better with the same sex. women have long tended to "creepzone" me without a word exiting my lips.

Yes, I can definitely relate to this, though, when I've made such a statement in the past I was basically accused of preferring hanging out with males over females for sexual reasons, which is simply not the case...In fact, if anything, I don't really care for sex. I don't know what it is about our society...why do a lot of people seem to view wanting to interact with members of the opposite sex as only having a sexual basis? Anyway, rant over.

Yes, this has always been a concern of mine, but in the interest of not being lonely, I've preferred to have guy friends, than to socially isolate myself altogether. My last female friend I had, who was quite tomboyish, moved overseas, and they're harder to come by I find. As I'm currently single, it's not an issue, but one day it may very well be.

Generally, all my past relationships I've had, my partner has always become my best friend, but I understand not all guys like this kind of relationship, which can be tough. I haven't come across any relationships that felt like they had that kind of pressure as you described having in the US, so I should be safe there.