What is it that I am missing?

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I constantly fall out with people because I just don't get like a large proportion of what makes them happy. Like this positive feeling people seem to experience when posting in threads where you are supposed to add your bit, like a number or a bump. I just don't understand that AT ALL. Seriously, I am not trolling or attention seeking or anything else negative people seem to usually accuse me of, I just do not compute. How is it enjoyable to do those things? I mean, I can understand interactions with other people can be enjoyable but I really do not comprehend what is enjoyable about posting 'bump' when a person feels horny.

I also don't understand how knowing that other people elsewhere in the world feel horny makes a person feel any different to how they were feeling before.

This is an autism site and yet I constantly get into trouble for having behaviours that are autistic. I know I am not diagnosed but that's another thing that doesn't make sense. Having to have been approved by the authorities, and 'accepted' before you can be treated fairly.

Remember who you are and what sites like this are about.

Unfortunately, you'll find on these Asperger's sites that there is a contingency of people who want to "play Neurotypical." They have no power in the real world, and places like this become their way to feel "normal." As such, cliques will form, powers will be abused, groupthink will occur. And some will take pleasure in lecturing others about how successful they are and why their pitiful fellow Aspies are failing.

Understand, such behavior is disgusting among alleged Aspies who should know better. So, don't let any of that get you down and remember, not being pulled into that behavior is a virtue. If you're being derailed by others Aspie's who misunderstand you and won't give you the benefit of the doubt, then understand that you really do see the big picture.

I don't know what your personal story is, but I can relate because I've experienced it on a different AS form.

Thank you for the words of support. That is a very useful perspective to remember, especially at times when I am feeling very down.

Perhaps I have also been very naive in thinking I can allow myself to be myself. Clearly that will never be acceptable.

Thanks again.

"Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth, for being correct, for being you. Never apologise for being correct or for being years ahead of your time. If you're right and you know it, speak your mind. Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth." Gandhi.

Last edited by Sherry221B on 02 Feb 2014, 3:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Why do you feel you can't be yourself?
I have been thinking of what to write here for awhile now, but can't find the right words.
I sometimes post on those threads impulsively. Sometimes I am bored or feel like expressing my self without the need to articulate what it is I am feeling. Sometimes a number or *bump* is a way of doing this without the fear of being misunderstood.
Speaking for myself, there seems to be something about sexual frustration that makes me want to scream 'arrrrgh I this feeling is unbearable!' So when I post *bump* or see someone else has *bumped* is a way for me to know that at least I am not alone in feeling this way.
I don't think this is exactly what I mean as communication is open to misinterpretation or accidentally saying saying something other than than what I am trying to express. Hmmmm I wish I could answer with something that has a concrete meaning, like maybe a number or *bump* as I find social communication so very confusing.

Thank you Sherry and qwerty.

I also belong to other support groups and such. There, I was told something that I try to apply here:

"Take what you can use and leave the rest."

Thank you for the advice. I prefer to try and give some back rather than just use and leave when there is nothing useful. Perhaps that is my mistake?

Not leave as in exit, but more of a "it's okay if it doesn't apply". I enjoy the simple threads because they aren't taxing, and it is nice to know that other people have experienced what I may be. I have a hard time following detailed discussions, so the latter is more my comfort zone.

I have a similar issue where I don't enjoy emotional disclosure and sharing of my personal life for it's own sake. I'm seen as reserved or intelligent at best (because quiet people who help you with campus computers are super-smart... right?), and rude or untrustworthy at worst. I always wonder what my motivation to put in the effort to communicate is, but it seems that to both NTs and ASD the action is the motivation!

I think you're ok. You've never offended me.

The brain is very complex, well of course it is.
Here you have a couple of small processing clusters similar to lima beans, and the complexity is still staggering.
People say it is electrical, but it is chemical, the electricity is facilitated by chemical components.
Ultimately, your thoughts are chain reactions of these chemicals, and some go to the little beans that stimulate emotions.
You don't have to be aware that emotions occur to have them or be affected by them.
Some feelings are even misfires of energy that leaks from one chain to another!

The brain is highly alterable, or "plastic," and the most plasticity research has been done on emotions!
There are techniques that may be used to make any behavior or sensory experience cause any emotion!

This is highly taboo knowledge used for adult purposes, and most people want to ignore it. Popular culture ties these practices mostly to bad practices like brainwashing, but just as many good (non-adult) things can be done with the techniques as well. Pavlov's dogs!
Then there are emotions and behaviors called instincts. So many things people do they can't explain, it's because their brain grew that way!

Maybe this explanation helped, maybe it just confused people.....

thanks again (why do I never remember to click the email notification thingy when I start threads!)

I know that we are all different and usually in real life it's easier to be aware of those who don't share the same attitudes and adjust one's behaviour accordingly but on the bulletin board you end up discussing issues with people you'd probably never ever find yourself conversing with in real life because they are so different to you and I guess this is where it all can go a bit ..ahem, alternative.

I guess I just wanted some place where I could 'let go' but it seems that even with people who really like me a lot that just isn't a viable strategy. They only like some parts of me and cannot handle the others. And then there are people who don't like anything about me at all and that would be fine were we able to complete ignore/avoid one another but that's not always practicable.

Sigh. I know..we all are in the same boat but that doesn't really make much difference in day to day life