This is hard for me- I am feeling bitter sweet.

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A close female friend and I had been having a conflict with one another ever since she got engaged and got married in 2009. She is also a very insecure person and has done and said things to me on purpose that seem hurtful even though she tries to sugar coat things. Part of the conflict included trying to make each other jealous and competing with one another. This was even though we both tried to make it work several times.

It was after Christmas Day of last year that she really did not seem to want to be with me. It was on Christmas Day that was the beginning of the end. I was at their house on Christmas and she happened to get me a gift card to a movie theater. I mentioned that I was going to use it to see The Hobbit. She said that she wanted to see it with me after she got off work. I said no and that I usually like to spend the day after Christmas shopping and going to movies alone.

I noticed the difference on New Year's day when I was having gathering and asked everyone to bring over an original recipe. Most people did not have time. She and her husband brought over fried chicken from the store and I got after them. "Everyone was supposed to bring over something that they made." She shut down and started pouting while sticking her nose up at me. Just being around her gave off some negative vibes.

I gave myself time to calm down and invited her out for tea by trying to listen to her and tried to apologize. She did not say much other than her husband felt out of place.

Then I did not hear anything again after that. So I sent her a text message about a week ago to see how she was doing and never heard back. I sent another text asking if she was mad by giving her three days to respond. She did not acknowledge what I said. I finally sent her an e-mail and asked once more if she was mad while also mentioning that I felt like we spent too much time making each other jealous.

She said that she did not want to associate with me anymore because we were are not compatible in that we did not have anything in common. She also said that there was this conflict between us and so it was not healthy for us to be around each other anymore. Then she said she learned that just because we are both on the spectrum that we are not going to be compatible.

I am going through a very rough time right now and she goes and pulls this when I need her the most. How can she be so selfish?

if you need support, ask for it here.

I have been talking to three people for a while tonight. I told one of them that she felt that she and her husband are in different places in their lives than we are. I also told them about the personality and interest conflicts and they felt that it was mean of them to just dump me out of the blue.

I also talked to another person and they said it was pretty bad that she could turn around and jump a good friend like that and that she is not a good friend herself and not good for me.

I am upset but I am not really in tears where I am crying or anything. It's more like I want to call her up and yell at her by calling her all kinds of ugly names but I know I cannot. This is a time to give her room. Although I did call her a few ugly names because I was angry at her choices. I also said that I am sorry that she feels that way on her end but that she and her husband are not nice people who just are not a lot of fun to be around. That is the truth.

well, with calling her names and saying she's not nice and no fun, I don't expect she'll ever be willing to be friends again. that was what you wanted when you did that, right?

I'm sorry you lost a friend. I bet you'll feel better about it in time. sounds like you're getting some support. I'm glad for that. keep us posted.

I don't think she wants me around period. She showed signs of it at Christmas time too. I went over to their house on Christmas day for dinner and I even brought over beer and wine instead presents. We even agreed that I did not have to get her anything since I am looking for work and I am on a tight budget. Then she turned around the next day and started telling me what she would like me to get her as present.

She mainly has been ignoring me and acting like she's better.

Me calling her ugly names and telling her that she was not a nice person came after she made it clear that she doesn't want to be friends anymore. The main reason was because of interest conflicts.