Did I behave the right way in this social situation?

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Last night I did drink 5 pints of beer in the bar with my friends. I left the bar at 2 in the morning and I saw one of my friends talk to these 2 girl and I knew one of the girls. This girl I knew has a history of interrogating me and harassing me a little when I see her in public or social situations. If you want to read up about my prior encounter with her look up the thread title 'something which happened at barbeque'


As I walked past them Mandy said to me come here give us a hug you "c**t" I just scowled at her and walked away. My intention from the start was to ignore her anyway. Her female friend did not take kindly too me walking away and shouted at me from a distance "at least give her s hug in angry voice). Th girl who shouted I recognised earlier in the bar.




The girl is called mandy is a bit of a drug addict and has been in prison before. Do you think I behaved the right way in this social situation or not?



I forgot to mention as I walked away Mandy said "sorry" to me a few times

Sounds like you avoided a bad situation. You're not their b!tch, and showed it by walking away.

How do you feel now?

A little better I guess but what about if I bump into her crazy friend again?

Mandy has been banned from every bar in my l,ocal town.

Just tell them you're not a puppet and will choose for yourself when and who you'll hug (and that (drunk) girls calling you names and screaming across the road is one of those moments you say "no!").

Sounds to me like you missed a chance to get laid.

She was just being friendly. You don't have to hug her, but rudeness is unnecessary.

"c**t" is a term of friendship and affection in certain social groups.

it sound like harmless loudmouth or drunk talk to me maybe she likes you and that's just her way of expressing it

ummmmm Or mabey she was looking to publicly humiliate you. This has happened to me a couple times where I havn't understood the malicious intent of a social offer and become trapped. Now I am a little too paranoid about it though. If you don't like her don't extend beyond politeness imo.

yes this is true also but really why associate with these people if you don't like how they treat you ?

Let's see: drug addict, prison, prior harassment.

In the past I have been advised to "stick with the winners". Assuming that advice has value, I might see it well-advised to avoid such types as you describe.

Reading the previous thread, Mandy originally didn't know what to think of you. She noticed that you were awkward and was trying to make you feel comfortable, but did not know how to do so without pitying you or making you feel different. This made you feel hurt and confused by her behavior.

When you saw her at this party, she may have realized that she hurt you (as evidenced by her saying sorry, a bunch of times) and was trying to make things up to you with an gesture of friendliness (a hug). Since it was an over the top gesture, there's a chance she is still pitying/babying you. As you were feeling hurt by her actions, it would have been a good idea to say hi at least but politely decline the hug as it would lead to more babying types of behaviors by her, which you don't want.

I'm not going to pass any moral judgments on her behavior because I believe that people are capable of change and should not be shamed for behaviors that they are capable of changing.

Well I think anneurysm was right. It might be that this Mandy girl is interested on comforting you/befriending you but doesn't know how to do it the right way. She won't say sorry anyways if her real intention was to make fun of you.

About what you did, I don't know, maybe it's just normal? I mean everyone is offended by different things and it's not unnatural that people feel bad upon being told a c**t.

Maybe try talking to her again and tell her everything's cool, and that you were not angry to her.

Yes you did. It sounds like she is a trouble maker and if you would have given her a hug, that would have opened the door for her to spread gossip that you were drunk and were trying to take advantage of her. For one thing she was using immature language by calling you a name.

Mandy was not acting appropriate while you were fine.

Yes you did. It sounds like she is a trouble maker and if you would have given her a hug, that would have opened the door for her to spread gossip that you were drunk and were trying to take advantage of her. For one thing she was using immature language by calling you a name.

Mandy was not acting appropriate while you were fine.

If you do try talking to Mandy again, I'd try to catch her when she's sober (or as sober as she ever is.) She'll be best able to process any explanations you decide to give about the pitying/babying/overaffectionate behavior. If she won't listen, I'd just ignore or avoid her thereafter. You DON'T need to engage in the kind of behavior you described Mandy doing - you were fine just walking away and trying to ignore her in the first place, especially while she was drunk.

Most AS people have better judgment drunk than many NT's do sober.

I'd probably have done the same thing. Or pretended not to even hear her.