Is it hard to meet people where you live?

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I have AS. I moved from a city of about 70,000 people to a city of about a million. In the town where I used to live, it was paradoxically easier to talk to people, because it was more of a melting pot. People of all socioeconomic backgrounds and walks of life congregated in one general area downtown.

Now, in this huge city, the downtown isn't particularly safe to walk for a single female. Huge buildings and mostly commuters - It is a destination city, where people drive to get where they need to go. There is a bus system, but it is limited considering the size of the city.

I've always had trouble making friends but could at least make acquaintances among people who were also poor or had a disability of some sort. Now I live in an outlying suburban-type area where there are mostly families or other people on the go. People dress immaculately and are very fashion conscious. In this area, I have not seen anyone who appears 'out of place' by the way they dress. In contrast, I am not fashion-conscious at all.

I'm dependent on the bus, and the only places nearby are malls. Endless strip malls and upscale restaurants where a meal can easily cost $15.

It is clearly not oriented towards a single Aspie like myself. To find other misfits, I would need to go to a depressed neighborhood where it could be unsafe waiting for a bus at night. I realize this is a broad generalization, but it is the general sense I get from living in a city where the majority of people drive. Everything is so spread out.

I've lived long enough on this planet that I know it is not the city but me. There is something wrong with my socialization skills that causes people to wall themselves off. However, the nature of this city and its public transportation contribute to my feelings of isolation.

What about you, is it hard to meet people where you live? What happens when you try to socialize?

I similarly recently moved from an area of population around 350k people to an area about 600k.

I used to live in a suburb and now live in the city proper. It was easier before for me to find acquaintances simply because there were fewer people in the area and so you took a bit more notice of the people.

Now... it's just a sea of people. No one takes notice of anyone. At times I really prefer this. It's so much easier for me to walk around and not feel so judged all the time.

That being said... I have had a hard time meeting people in my new home. It's probably me, not them. I just have no idea how to go about meeting people. I've always been introduced by other people in the past and I'm not really into the bar scene... sooo.... yea.

I live in Seattle. There's actually a phenomenon called the "Seattle freeze." That is, when you try to meet locals, they give you the cold shoulder. I don't know how true that is. Maybe it's just a cultural myth. Still, in this large city of 600,000+ you can meet people if you fit in. Here, the Seahawks are like gods. If you show up at a bar during the game to root them on you'll make tons of friends. If you're an outsider like me you won't stand a chance. One thing I did notice is, here, single people dine by themselves in restaurants a lot. Men and women. It's very common. I find this surprising considering the stigma attached with dining alone. Yet, it happens. Seattle is a pretty lonely city once you've scratched the surface of it. At least dining alone you have company, as oxymoronic as that seems.

I moved to Seattle, lol. The freeze is a thing. It is truth.

For me it is, but part of that's because of my work schedule, and also because I don't/can't drive. (it's hard to get around in this city unless you have your own vehicle......public transit isn't always convenient)

For me, finding people with the same interests is very difficult, and when I can find them, they end up disappearing after some amount of time.

Or I am shut out of their circle because I am a Christian (my interests are animated sitcoms and stand-up comedy, and almost no Christians have those interests).

Well, next year I'll move from a city of 2000 to a city of 3 million.

Where I live, I'm more on a woman hunt and am finding at all the social events and circles I run in the women are either college aged or 40+. It seems like the 30 year old unmarried woman is an endangered species where I live. I feel like I've tried everything and just can't seem to meet anyone decent who isn't already married or engaged. Ditto for guys my age: it seems like they either got married or vanished without a trace. Even my hockey buddies are ALL either 40+ or under 25. It seems that 'normal' people my own age (who actually have a job and ambition) are almost impossible to find unless they are married.

What's strange is that if I am in a smaller city or town I will usually have someone initiate a conversation with me. Seems rather ironic to me.

I live in a Minnesota city of about 70,000. It's a little bit upscale and a little bit diverse, but friendly. The only places I've been where people won't even make eye contact or smile while walking are in the Twin Cities here (around 400,000 and 300,000).

It was hard for me to meet people were I lived till a little less than a year ago. It was a small rural town with very little places around besides houses, sugar-cane fields, a couple gas stations, a church, & an elementary & middle school. I'm not religious & I cant drive & there was no public transportation available to get to the nearby cities. I met people at work when I was working(my parents brought me there & back usually sense it was in the city. I live in a city now on the other side of the country from where I used to live & see aLOT more people than I used to. I'm going out alot more & take buses or walk. I haven't really talked to many people yet thou except a guy who worked at the laundromat; me & my girlfriend go there about 1ce a week but the guy works at a different one now but we seen him a couple times sense. Sometimes people try to chat with us on the bus & we occasionally see afew people various times.

I recently moved from a city of 10,000 to a city of several hundred thousand myself. I have to say, it is far easier to meet people here than it was there. A big difference though, is that it's harder to really become close with people here, so I wind up with a lot more people I know, but not as many people that I know well. In the smaller city, you're almost forced to develop friendships with the people around you, because there's so few "friend options". Here, everyone already has their social circles and such, so they don't really have any need or want for more friends.

This is my first time in a small (1k) town, an hour from the nearest traffic light. Lots of people wave to me as they drive by - I feel like the Queen! It is easy to meet people by volunteering for the museum, or trail maintenance, or dozens of other causes. Unfortunately, that activity is probably where the interesting conversation stops. When someone asks if I have family here and I say no, they are lost for a follow-up. In more isolated towns north of here, you meet more people who can't handle a more complex social life, but have that much in common, and treat cabin fever as a public health issue.