Lying and trust in friends -hypocrisy

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Ok, I really need feedback on this. I caught my best friend in a lie. It wasn't a big one, but it hurt just the same. We were supposed to meet up with a couple others at lunch. It was set up the day before with the only hitch being he had call in jury duty. Because I was the farthest away, I took a chance and went to the meeting place. Once there, I texted him if it was a go. The reply was that even tho no jury duty, things came up and the lunch meeting was off. So I started heading home, but as I was leaving he and the others were just arriving. I'm pretty sure they didn't see me, but I'm left with knowledge of the lie. So it seems obvious that I was not welcome. Now the others were his work buddies (we've all hung out before - I'm not a stranger to them), and he could have just said that it was just going to be a work lunch (no outsiders) and I would have understood. Side note, since all my family lives in another state, my friend is also my agent for any medical emergency I may have. So maybe he was trying to spare my feelings, but it was such a little thing, not worth a lie, that now I feel a trust has been broken. I don't even want to talk to him right now. I feel I'm always going to wonder if what he says is truthful/sincere or not. How can I trust someone with my life if they can't be honest with me. I've been burned too many times by people that claim to have been close friends or "like family"...... is this an Aspie thing or ?? Am I over reacting?

hey something like this happened to me before this type of thing is just what normal people ie NT do its more to do with the fact that they haven't got the guts to tell the truth than to spare your feelings once not too long ago i was annoyed knowing i wasn't wanted at a pub and was told to meet them there later so i played dumb and went early and ignored them so then i was asked to come over and join so i said oh you said i wasn't invited before so i will be at the bar till they they go they said its rude not to so i did anyway asking me over was all for show on there part and i know that i just wanted to piss them off but like i said it just something people do

I have had someone I think of as a friend place him or herself in the role of caregiver and then feel justified. In those instances, acknowledging the person may have positive intentions while trying to pull away has been the best I could do. The friendship hasn't survived, and I've had to shift to being the carer to salvage any self respect.

This happened to me and my best friend a couple weeks ago.

We were supposed to hang out but she said she was too busy studying so I ended up going to someone else's place.. As I was walking there I just happened to see my best friend walking on the other side of the street with someone else. I got pissed, put in my earphones and kept walking, but 10 seconds later I got hugjumped from behind and we had a talk about how those "accepted sweet little lies" are hurtful for me... and since then she's been (trying to be) honest.


I've just accepted it's as difficult for them to sometimes be honest as it is for me/us to sometimes not be so honest and we all end up -unintentionally- hurting people because of it.

That would be a deal breaker for me. I get pissed off when people lie to me, and I could never trust them again, nor would I want to be around them again.

Plus they make it pretty clear how welcome I am.

I have too much self respect to waste my time on the likes of them.

@socalso, Lying is just part of human behaviour, it is natural and it is unavoidable.. also a 100% truth wouldn't be very comfortable too? Also is omitting something same like to lying or not? Friendship is not only about trust, it is also accepting flaws of each other .. so I recommend you to just ask your friend next time (but try not to get angry for such a thing).. Imagine everybody breaking up friendships for a simple lie, in that case almost all the world would be without friends.. Anyway, good luck with it and I am almost sure it is just a "fart in a bottle": once opened it'll stink but just blow on it and it'll be gone
Cordially MDK