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Vacant_Entity
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24 Mar 2014, 5:12 pm

So a recent topic by MegaSonic (you can probably find it easy enough, but here you go: Addressing people by name) brought up something that I have been pondering for a while, which is (in case the title hadn't given it away) whether it's normal to not like being addressed by your first name. As in, whenever people talk to me and say my name, I just cringe slightly at it, (even though I like my name) to a point where people who know me now address me by my surname.

So, basically, (trying to stick to the point) who else doesn't like being addressed by their first name?


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Skilpadde
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24 Mar 2014, 9:33 pm

That has always been the case for me, but that's because I have hated my first name all my life. It has always been the worst thing anyone could have called me.

I had n a new name officially added a few years ago and I like it just fine when I am addressed by that name.


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steve30
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25 Mar 2014, 3:08 am

Don't mind people I know using my name. Its when unfamiliar people use my first name or try to abbreviate it that it annoys me.



hurtloam
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25 Mar 2014, 6:13 am

I don't mind people I know using my first name, but I don't like it when I am on the phone to the bank or insurance company etc. and the customer service person says, "Well Alison, i would like to explain xyz. Does that make sense Alison? Thank you Alison I will set that up for you. Is there anything else I can help you with today Alison?" I feel like they are doing it because they have been told to and it sounds totally un-natural. It's like they are pretending to be my friend and it's totally fake. I don't care if they like me. I just want my payments to be set up correctly. I don't know if it makes NTs feel like they are getting good service.



TheMighty_Moo
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25 Mar 2014, 12:40 pm

I really like my name. I like to be addressed directly by people who actually choose to say my name. I hate it when there's another random person who has the same name as me and I'm usually to the "anti-social" of the class so people don't really need to talk to me a lot. I feel kinda worse when I hear someone say my name, go like this :) and turn around to see that they're talking to someone else. And to avoid confusion, they call me by my full name instead of just Zeynep [that would be my name], a nice little word. That really bugs me sometimes, man.


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25 Mar 2014, 6:35 pm

I have gotten used to it. As long as it's not too frequent in conversation because that is kind of creepy.



LKL
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25 Mar 2014, 6:48 pm

I like my name, but I don't like being addressed by it from strangers. I particularly hate it when someone reads my name tag and addresses me by my first name (half the time mispronouncing it) without having been introduced. I would far rather be addressed, by strangers, with my surname or job title.



masterof101010
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16 May 2014, 4:05 pm

I'm confused ... and I don't mean to be rude.

If you don't like being called by your first name what is it you'd like people to call you when they need you're attention? "Hey You?"



smudge
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16 May 2014, 4:24 pm

People don't say my name enough, I guess because most don't know how to pronounce it. I love it when people say my name.


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StarsInMyMargarita
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16 May 2014, 4:32 pm

My real name is Madison, but I would prefer that if you're going to call my name, you use Madi. I don't like my name, but it also kind of startles me when I hear it. I don't really know why.

I don't wear my nametag at work, anymore, because I get confused when a random customer uses it. It's nice when they have a name to give my manager when they compliment me, though. lol



i_wanna_blue
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16 May 2014, 5:18 pm

This is an interesting topic. At home I dislike being called by my name, not since i don't like it, rather by what it implies. When people at home call me by my real name they're either very angry or annoyed at me or something else. When they call me by my nickname they're usually in a good mood.

I like my name, since it's not very common but most people outside of culture can't pronounce it - or my surname, so it gets an awkward reaction from me since i know i have to correct them.

when people don't call me by my nickname i'm usually less relaxed then when they do.



EsotericResearch
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16 May 2014, 11:30 pm

This is a bit of an issue because my legal name is in my language, but I've fought for the right to use my English name (I'm mainland Chinese - doesn't allow dual citizenship). I don't mind being called by my English name, but do about my legal name outside of my language context because it sounds really terrible in English. But my family refuses to use my English name... w/e


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08 Jun 2014, 3:57 pm

On the one hand, I like my name and am content with it.

On the other hand, it makes me feel weird/icky when someone speaks my name.
My aversion to hearing that is *not* based on what my name is-but that it's "mine", referring to and identifying me.

I can't explain it, it's not an intellectual thing-it's visceral, unconscious reaction-which I only notice once it's happened, in the moment.
No idea why...beyond possible PTSD stuff from childhood when hearing my name said aloud registered anger, threat of punishment from grown-ups.


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KazKazKaz
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09 Jun 2014, 5:17 pm

I like when my close friends use my name with me, because it feels like closeness and familiarity - but when an acquaintance or stranger uses it, it's upsetting. I feel like they've overstepped a boundary and are misusing something that's mine, I guess. I also don't like calling people by their name unless I'm really close to them - it used to be physically difficult for me to use someone's name and my voice would just stop, and I'd get their attention another way, or just never use their own name in front of them. I think I'm more okay with identifying people by their name now.



diniesaur
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09 Jun 2014, 5:46 pm

I never liked being addressed by my real name. When I was three I would scream about it and make people call me animal names, and now it still feels kind of off. Apparently names aren't often as important to Autistic people as they are to others.

Other people have found names I prefer, though. My favorites are "Supreme Overlord," "Moose," "Master," "Tranny Lord," and "Experiment."



onewithstrange
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09 Jun 2014, 6:39 pm

steve30 wrote:
Don't mind people I know using my name. Its when unfamiliar people use my first name or try to abbreviate it that it annoys me.


Same. I'm a Benjamin and I prefer strangers not abbreviate it to Ben. It creates some comfortable separation. Friends can call me whatever they want.


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