Do you laugh at your own jokes? It's socially inappropriate?

Page 1 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

daydreamer84
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world

22 Mar 2014, 10:16 pm

I was taught not to do this in social skills group but I don't remember why you're not supposed to do it if I was ever told. Also, I think it was on a list of social skills or social mistakes autistic people make on the internet too. I laugh at my jokes but I've also seen plenty of NTs who are socially adept do so as well. So my questions are:

1) Do you laugh at your own jokes?

2)Have you ever been told that it's socially inappropriate to do so?

3) Do you think it is and if so then why?



TheBraveSirRobin
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 14 Mar 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 238
Location: Northwest WA

23 Mar 2014, 3:13 am

I laugh at my own jokes occasionally and it's really not a big deal when you're around people that you know. In public and around people that don't know you very well, yeah, it can be awkward, but welcome to being an autistic person if being awkward in public is somehow a new experience for you.


_________________
Nosce te ipsum - Know thyself


Rishikesh
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 21 Mar 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 25
Location: not India

23 Mar 2014, 7:06 am

daydreamer84 wrote:
1) Do you laugh at your own jokes?

Not aloud. I can smile or widely smile when people laugh at my joke though. I think it is important to enjoy the situation in a quiet way, the more quiet the better (and never louder than them, at least).

daydreamer84 wrote:
2)Have you ever been told that it's socially inappropriate to do so?

I was not. But I feel this way myself.

daydreamer84 wrote:
3) Do you think it is and if so then why?

When someone enjoys his own joke too much (louder then I do), I don't inderstand why. He (usually it is he, not she, btw) knew this joke before me, his reaction should not be so extreme. It feels wrong for me. As for other people, I know that they begin to think of such person as of 'self-satisfied / smug idiot'.

In short, your laughter can spoil your joke and other people's opinion of you.



MathGirl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,522
Location: Ontario, Canada

23 Mar 2014, 7:44 am

All the time. Another thing I do is make up funny things in my head and laugh at them out loud. I worked with another person with autism before who also did that and I totally got that. :D


_________________
Leading a double life and loving it (but exhausted).

Likely ADHD instead of what I've been diagnosed with before.


zer0netgain
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2009
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,613

23 Mar 2014, 9:12 am

I suppose the taboo is that if you have to laugh at your own joke, it's not really that funny.

It may also ruin the delivery of the joke...where the laughter is to be spontaneous. Much like using "canned laughter" in a comedy so that the viewers know when a joke's been made rather than letting it happen automatically.



Saul3903
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2014
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 75

23 Mar 2014, 1:31 pm

My sister, who also has Asperger's and is lower functioning than I am, does this all the time. It's incredibly annoying for two reasons:

-A lot of her jokes simply aren't funny. I can shrug it off when a comment she makes doesn't have any affect, until she tries to force it with her own chuckling. It's having a little kid prod you over and over repeating "do you get it?"

-It's the same laugh every time. It's like how zer0netgain described it, a laugh track that follows every single pun and comment.

After watching her, I've learned to only laugh at my own quips if someone else does first. I think it's pretty inappropriate to automatically start laughing out loud at your own words. No one ever told me, but I figured it out for myself.


_________________
"I'm a weird dude, and it doesn't always work out in my favor, but the whole thing is supposed to say something: That a weak dude like me, odds against them, can make it, so can everyone else."
-Aleksander Vinter, aka Savant, EDM Producer


daydreamer84
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world

23 Mar 2014, 1:56 pm

Saul3903 wrote:
My sister, who also has Asperger's and is lower functioning than I am, does this all the time. It's incredibly annoying for two reasons:

-A lot of her jokes simply aren't funny. I can shrug it off when a comment she makes doesn't have any affect, until she tries to force it with her own chuckling. It's having a little kid prod you over and over repeating "do you get it?"

-It's the same laugh every time. It's like how zer0netgain described it, a laugh track that follows every single pun and comment.

After watching her, I've learned to only laugh at my own quips if someone else does first. I think it's pretty inappropriate to automatically start laughing out loud at your own words. No one ever told me, but I figured it out for myself.


Maybe that's the social context where it's okay. If other people laugh at your joke FIRST then you can laugh at it? My sister is very socially adroit though , she's NT but has lots of friends and I've noticed her laughing at her own jokes but other people are laughing at them too.

Maybe it annoys people when I do this. Yes, even though I was explicitly taught it's socially inappropriate , I still do it. If I'm comfortable enough around someone to make a joke then I'm probably not trying to follow rules at the time. People find me annoying sometimes and I have been told that I have a weird laugh and a unique laugh, the latter by a nicer person. :lol: It's not a fake chuckle, though, it's my natural laugh but it sounds weird to some people.



daydreamer84
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world

23 Mar 2014, 2:22 pm

Saul3903 wrote:
My sister, who also has Asperger's and is lower functioning than I am, does this all the time. It's incredibly annoying for two reasons:

-A lot of her jokes simply aren't funny. I can shrug it off when a comment she makes doesn't have any affect, until she tries to force it with her own chuckling. It's having a little kid prod you over and over repeating "do you get it?"

-It's the same laugh every time. It's like how zer0netgain described it, a laugh track that follows every single pun and comment.

After watching her, I've learned to only laugh at my own quips if someone else does first. I think it's pretty inappropiate to automatically start laughing out loud at your own words. No one ever told me, but I figured it out for myself.


That's probably the social context in which it's okay to laugh at one's own joke, when someone else laughs FIRST. I know it's okay sometimes bcs my very socially adroit sister does it too.

I also have a weird laugh, similar laugh every time, or so I've been told. It's not because it's a forced chuckle though, it's just my natural laugh.

zer0netgain wrote:
It may also ruin the delivery of the joke...where the laughter is to be spontaneous. Much like using "canned laughter" in a comedy so that the viewers know when a joke's been made rather than letting it happen automatically.


Interesting.



Last edited by daydreamer84 on 23 Mar 2014, 2:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

daydreamer84
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world

23 Mar 2014, 2:35 pm

MathGirl wrote:
All the time. Another thing I do is make up funny things in my head and laugh at them out loud. I worked with another person with autism before who also did that and I totally got that. :D


I do that too but I know it's socially inappropriate and why it is. The joke was only in your head so people don't know why you're suddenly laughing and it looks weird/crazy. I do it when I space out, am not paying attention and forget that I'm in a public place or around other people.

Rishikesh wrote:
When someone enjoys his own joke too much (louder then I do), I don't inderstand why. He (usually it is he, not she, btw) knew this joke before me, his reaction should not be so extreme. It feels wrong for me. As for other people, I know that they begin to think of such person as of 'self-satisfied / smug idiot'.

In short, your laughter can spoil your joke and other people's opinion of you.


That would have been my guess for why it's socially inappropriate , that it makes you look arrogant/ smug because you obviously think your own joke is funny or maybe that you're a funny person?The thing is that if you make a joke you obviously do think it's funny. If it weren't funny in your mind then you wouldn't have made it. Generally, I'm not an arrogant person, I don't think. I'm too f'ed up in too many ways, not just ASD, to think I'm better than others. I wouldn't go around talking about how great I am but my jokes and word-play are funny to me. It's not that I think they're brilliant or that others will think I'm hilarious but when I make the joke I find it funny.



MathGirl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,522
Location: Ontario, Canada

23 Mar 2014, 3:34 pm

daydreamer84 wrote:
MathGirl wrote:
All the time. Another thing I do is make up funny things in my head and laugh at them out loud. I worked with another person with autism before who also did that and I totally got that. :D


I do that too but I know it's socially inappropriate and why it is. The joke was only in your head so people don't know why you're suddenly laughing and it looks weird/crazy. I do it when I space out, am not paying attention and forget that I'm in a public place or around other people.
well, acting autistic in most, if not all, ways. Does that mean we have to suppress every single of our tendencies and force ourselves to act as normal as we can? I don't think so. I think that takes too much mental energy that we could spend on more productive things. Constantly adjusting ourselves to be socially appropriate also takes the fun out of social interactions, a lot of which are meant to be enjoyable, not ridiculously draining.


_________________
Leading a double life and loving it (but exhausted).

Likely ADHD instead of what I've been diagnosed with before.


KWifler
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 11 Aug 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 236
Location: Bellingham, WA, USA, Earth

23 Mar 2014, 4:29 pm

Seriously, if people find this behavior so bad, I'm doomed to live a life of having no friends forever.

For one thing, if I find something funny, I want to share it with others.
If I find it funny, I'm going to burst out laughing (like an idiot, apparrently), EVERY single time I tell it.
All of the funny things I decide to share are overwhelmingly hilarious like that.

Why should someone take ownership of a joke anyways? It's not "my joke," it's just something I think is funny. Laughing at it doesn't make me self absorbed or have any negative implications about my character. Trying not to laugh is a big pain, and I read somewhere that it's unhealthy!

This requirement is just another silly social game mechanic that is used to needlessly alienate people IMO.


_________________
Still alive...


PerfectlyDarkTails
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Mar 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 797
Location: Wales

23 Mar 2014, 6:38 pm

Yeah.. I often laugh or at least crack a smile at my own jokes, mine are often spontaneous, situational, natural and not really thought out. Often others don't know what I'm going on about and laugh with me because I'm laughing. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, it can lighten up anyone's mood really. :)


_________________
"When you begin to realize your own existence and break out of the social norm, then others know you have completely lost your mind." -PerfectlyDarkTails

AS 168/200, NT: 20/ 200, AQ=45 EQ=15, SQ=78, IQ=135


Skilpadde
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2008
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,019

23 Mar 2014, 8:51 pm

1) Do you laugh at your own jokes?
Yes, I often laugh when I tell jokes. I usually can't deliver them without grinning and I often laugh at them and sometimes I even have problems telling them because I laugh at them.
The very reason I tell them (whether we're talking my own made up punch lines/jokes or, more often, re-tell jokes I have read somewhere) is that I find them funny and want to share them.

2)Have you ever been told that it's socially inappropriate to do so?
No, I've never been told so but I have read that it's supposed to be negative, and I have read things like "he's the type who laughs at his own jokes".

3) Do you think it is and if so then why?
No I don't. I laugh because I'm amused by the joke and if that is wrong then people will just have to hate me for it. Keeping laughter in is just too much of a pain in an innocent situation like that.

KWifler wrote:
For one thing, if I find something funny, I want to share it with others.
If I find it funny, I'm going to burst out laughing (like an idiot, apparrently), EVERY single time I tell it.
All of the funny things I decide to share are overwhelmingly hilarious like that.


QFT!

Quote:
I suppose the taboo is that if you have to laugh at your own joke, it's not really that funny.

Have to laugh at my own jokes? I laugh because I find it funny. What you're talking about sound more like forced laughter.

Quote:
-A lot of her jokes simply aren't funny

Humor is a matter of taste.
There are types of humor I find lame, but that doesn't mean they're not funny to others. It's just a matter of personal taste.


_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy

Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765


daydreamer84
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world

24 Mar 2014, 1:11 am

KWifler wrote:
Why should someone take ownership of a joke anyways? It's not "my joke," it's just something I think is funny. Laughing at it doesn't make me self absorbed or have any negative implications about my character. Trying not to laugh is a big pain, and I read somewhere that it's unhealthy!


That's true and I agree with you and Mathgirl and the others who think it's a stupid social rule (or social game) and not worth the effort to try and follow.



Lukecash12
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2012
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,033

24 Mar 2014, 1:39 am

daydreamer84 wrote:
I was taught not to do this in social skills group but I don't remember why you're not supposed to do it if I was ever told. Also, I think it was on a list of social skills or social mistakes autistic people make on the internet too. I laugh at my jokes but I've also seen plenty of NTs who are socially adept do so as well. So my questions are:

1) Do you laugh at your own jokes?

2)Have you ever been told that it's socially inappropriate to do so?

3) Do you think it is and if so then why?


1. A small portion of the time I guess.
2. Yes, that's why I conditioned myself to stop doing it.
3. It doesn't come off well because not only do you already know the joke, but you are telling it to the other person and not yourself. So it's up to that person to decide if it's funny, and you definitely want to avoid the most awkward outcome here of laughing at your own joke when the person you told it to doesn't find it funny at all.


_________________
There is no wealth like knowledge, no poverty like ignorance.
Nahj ul-Balāgha by Ali bin Abu-Talib


TheMighty_Moo
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 18 Feb 2014
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 318
Location: Chillin' in Turkey

25 Mar 2014, 12:46 pm

I don't need to laugh at 'em a lot because other people tend to do that for me but I sometimes can't help but laugh at my own jokes because, well, they're pretty damn hilarious.
Nobody came up to me and said that it was inappropriate for me to laugh at something I think is funny. That's actually what triggers a joke.


_________________
"Shirahoshi: "But if you're a pirate, Luffy... Then aren't you a bad person?"
Luffy: "... Hm? ... Mmmm... I dunno, that's up to you to decide."
----
Moo approves!