Little Sympathy (Am I Horrible?)

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Does anybody else not understand why some people get upset about certain things, or why they're in bad situations because of things like their lifestyle or actions?

I remember having a conversation with a big woman who was saying smokers shouldn't get NHS treatment for their conditions because it's lifestyle related. So I pointed out that the same must apply to fat people then and she got offended. I've been big myself and been through various mental health services and physical health services, so she was saying she's an emotional eater and can't help it, but I can't imagine people not helping it.

It isn't that I don't think people should get help, nor that I have any malice towards people, I just have a very matter of fact way of thinking and am pretty neutral. I also don't understand why people say they're lonely or fat, but don't do anything about it... I don't understand... Why complain, if you've identified a problem... I don't usually know how to respond.

I don't have an ill feelings towards anybody, nor do I really judge people often. It's more of a not really connecting emotionally to a lot of these issues and how they're expressed. I try to just listen and not respond, or maybe make suggestions... In the past, I've gotten in to arguments for being too blunt.

Am I a horrible person, or does anybody else get that?

Nobody likes being pointed out to be wrong. We all have fragile egos. There's probably some things in you that you can't admit to either. Everyone has something to deny.

No, it's not you, it's them. For some reason, society encourages self indulgence and self pity in vast majority, but those who are the leaders are suspiciously lacking in these attributes. I suspect the society is rigged so that few can easily rule the many. Our free will is not something we are at liberty to exercise as we please

I think society is so contradictory... You have the idea of undeserving poor as an excuse to cut benefits which really hurts people.

What I don't understand is the disclosure of information when the change is in their control. I'm bipolar, so know it can be hard... I don't know how to react.

My ex gf used to complain about being fat,but got annoyed when I said I thought she was beautiful, but if she was unhappy she should do something about it.

You are not alone. I am like this. The thing I have learned is that most people complain to you because they want you to feel sorry for them. Specifically, they want you to say something like, "Oh. I am sorry that happened to you." or if they are complaining about another person, "Oh, that person is so awful!" They aren't looking for a solution to a problem. They are looking for someone to stroke their ego. They don't want to solve the problem. They just want sympathy and to be left alone to solve the problem in their own time and in their own way. I try to practice live and let die. In other words, I try never to offer advice or feedback unless somebody specifically asks for it. I just assume they are venting and seeking validation.