How reliable are you?

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How reliable are you?

In the realm of social obligations I have to say I am not that reliable. I make the commitment to be somewhere and then I don’t show. The reasons vary from getting distracted with work or a personal project to exhaustion from introversion.

When I get distracted I have a tendency to either get extremely hyper focused on details and time escapes me. As a whole whatever I was working on never even got close to getting done because I lost sight of the forest in the trees and on top of that I didn’t adequately prepare for the social obligation so I just didn’t go. Then I kind of get upset at myself. There are times when I realize this is about to happen but I continue the sabotaging behavior anyway. In other times I am like a deer in the headlights about it because I completely lost track of the time. It gives me a poor reputation.

In the case of introversion exhaustion sometimes I just don’t feel like going out. I can’t always predict when I am going to feel this way. I try to make sure I have alone time before the social interaction but I can’t always make that happen. If I am exhausted and go out anyway I am not very social. I get bothered with questions and statements from others I may be with like: “Are you ok?” “Why are you so quiet?” “What’s wrong?” “You’re no fun.” My personal favorite is “Smile!” (sarcasm).

What the hell is wrong with me? Can anyone else relate to being unreliable to others?

If I say I will be somewhere, I usually will, barring some particularly jarring overload or meltdown situation - say, it's something I didn't really want to go to, but a friend offered to go along, then at the last minute they stand me up - then I'm likely to have a little freakout session and refuse to leave the house because somebody changed the plan on me without any warning time for my brain to adjust.

For the most part, I don't agree to do things that make me uncomfortable, because I don't want to be put in the situation of letting someone down. If somebody invites me to a party and I say "We'll see," then if they decide I'm unreliable when I don't show up, that's their fault for assuming my lack of NO meant an automatic YES. To my mind, "We'll see" means "Probably not, quit bugging me about it."

I'm pretty reliable. If I can't make it somewhere, I call. It's rare that I can't make it somewhere.

I am very rarely later for work; when I'm late, I call. They know I'm reliable, so they just take the lateness out of my Annual Time.

If I say I'll do something, it'll play on my mind until I do it.
If I say I'll be somewhere, I'll be there.

I do sometimes turn up at the right place and time, on the wrong day.
I do forget, though that is rare.
And sometimes something else monumental prevents me from doing it, though I'll suffer a lot of anxiety for not doing it / being there.

I am very reliable. I hate to let people down. If I'm going to meet somebody, I always make sure I'm there on time, and if for some reason I'm going to running late, I text them straight away to let them know. If for some reason I can't come at all, I feel extremely guilty for telling them, and have to make it quick by giving them a text. Even then though, I try to make it not sound like an excuse. So instead of putting ''can't do tomorrow, sorry'', I put something like ''hello there, I'm sorry but can't make it tomorrow. Are you free next week some time, perhaps we can meet up for lunch or something then?''

Also anybody can trust me with their secrets. If somebody tells me something, my instinct tells me that I should keep it quiet and not tell anybody else, and so I don't. I don't normally tell on other people either at work. If I see another worker breaking a rule, I don't tell on them. Obviously if it was big, like somebody hurting another person or something like that, then I would have to do something. But if it's something like seeing somebody texting on their phone during work time, I wouldn't tell.

This describes me fairly well. At least, it used to. I've learned in the last year or so that, if it's just a social call, my friends won't put nearly as much effort to be on time, and it's a waste of my energy to try to be punctual every time.

Very. I really can't even lie. (I don't mean I'm bad at lying, I mean I can't do so. Like, I can't say a thing that isn't true.)

I don't gossip. Ever. If people tell me some of their stuff, I don't tell it ahead. And I'm very carefully when I'm talking about other people. I want to make sure I don't tell someones personal stuff to other people, not even by accident.

Also, if I've promised something (like meeting or so), I'll be there as agreed. Or if I say I'll do something, I'll do it. And so on. I'll neglect to do something promised only if I have a very good reason for it. And I'll always inform others about it too.