Irritable And Offensive?

Post Reply New Topic

I find I am having terrible trouble with an older male I have been 'friends' with online for over 2 years now...we met on the spiritual forum we both worked on and he has done a lot for me, including willingly helping when I have been in financial difficulties...however, he keeps coming on every evening mostly, and I find it irritating. For some reason, in spite of his kindness, I get more irritable and snappy with him than with anyone else and often have negative thoughts regarding him, which leave me feeling guilty.

He often asks 'how are you?' and that question immediately annoys me. He says things which to me are so plainly obvious at times, and then I think to myself how stupid he is... then beat myself up for being so nasty. Tonight, he came on and told me he can only be on for an hour...and I replied by saying that he doesnt need to tell me how long he will be online anymore because it doesn't bother me anymore because I always have other things to focus on and I am not needy as I once was. I am guessing I offended him because he didn't reply and went offline 10 minutes later.

I do not see anything especially offensive in what I said. I was simply being honest and trying to avoid any further irritation on my part.

I do not get why I find this man so irritating, considering he has stuck by me...maybe that is the reason. Because he has done things for me and I feel indebted or something.

I can relate to your situation. I have had this happen, before, and it is often someone who, as you say, has been there for you and towards whom you feel a debt of obligation. I think you are right, in part, to blame it on this feeling of obligation. But perhaps you have simply outgrown this relationship? In my past situations, I realized that that was the case. This person just no longer appealed to me, for some reason or another.