How can I tell if someone truly wants to be my friend?

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Whenever I meet someone they're friendly at first and act like they want to hang out. They can tell that I'm quiet but I still try to talk to them. I am always the one to message them first and that makes me feel like they don't really want to be my friend. A guy I met a few weeks ago was like this but last week he told my friend to tell me that he still wants to hang out some time. I don't understand why he would do that since he could just message me that and so I'm just sitting here trying to find out if he really wants to be my friend.

shy+shy=alone.

You should just ask him, it's cool if you do it in a relaxed way
"hey dude, why didn't you just text me directly? "

give it time if they really care they will contact you.
i realised that i cant force people
it makes me seem clingy
so i just let them go
maximum people just use me and dump me
they realise im shy and insecure

phooeey on maximum people.

I honestly don't know how you can tell if someone really wants to be your friend.
I wouldn't be on this forum if I could.

Do they come around to help when you hit hard times and there is nothing they could possibly gain from it?

That's how you separate your friends from mere acquaintances.

Pretty much what zer0netgain said. Also, from my point of view, I consider one to be a friend (especially a true/real friend) is one who will listen and (try) to understand you for who you are, supportive (emotionally, psychologically, socially, etc.), and of course will talk to you or hang out with you without you having to initiate the convo (like they will automatically talk to you and hang out without you asking them to).

Back to what I was going to say in response to your post though, your situation is pretty much almost like mine socially. I probably shouldn't have given up on enhancing my social skills and social life, but with many failed experiences, I've been very discouraged myself to improve (or even at least make a diligent attempt to) better my social life. I've just kinda accepted that I'm a hermit, but someday maybe there will be a miracle that will turn all of this around (I hope).

Some people are just shy and afraid to make the first approach. It is perfectly okay for people to express acceptance of others in the way you've described. Many people are also busy with other priorities (i.e. school, work etc.) and may still care about/think of you even if they don't actually seek you out. There are some friends I have that often i have to take the bulk of the initiative with to reconnect at times, but once we talk, they are happy to hear from me again and are eager to catch up.