I don't think I can handle this!! Help!

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Background: I've finally figured out how to make and keep friends, and I have some, although I'm still often overloaded socially and have trouble with issues like planning times to hang out and stuff like that. I'm in this D&D group that's part of a fairly large group of friends and I'm closer with some than I am with others, but not as close with some as I'd like. I don't really know how to get "in" on the close friendships and still feel like an outsider sometimes.

The current situation is that they have a D&D game planned tomorrow at one of the people's houses. I'm supposed to be there but I need transportation...so one of them will be picking me up, but we still haven't figured out WHO it will be, and I STILL don't know when they'll be picking me up, which means I don't know when I'll need to be ready, which is really freaking me out.

I didn't really have a choice in the time they picked and I've actually been dreading this game for a while. Now, it's even worse because of my current mood...the past few days I've been feeling pretty overloaded, like a shutdown is coming on. Usually the weekends are my chance to cool down if I need to, and I NEED to...but I can't! And this game is going to be an all-day thing...from at least 11am to past midnight that night.

I'm not SURE if I'll be able to handle it or not. I did clarify with a friend and he said if I need a break I can just tell him and I'll have a chance to settle down...hopefully that will be enough. I REALLY want to go because we rarely have live sessions with all of us together and I don't want to disappoint them...also, this is my first chance to go to any of their houses...ever. That's a THING that people do when they're becoming closer friends. I don't want to miss out on this opportunity unless I absolutely HAVE to!

But they're still not telling me what's going to happen tomorrow in terms of transportation and timing (even though I've asked them a few times, including weeks ago) and I'm still currently overloaded socially. I don't know for a fact if I should stay home or not and I don't want to stay home and then regret it...I know that they're less bad than most people and sometimes I feel a little better but when I'm out of social skills I'm OUT of social skills. What do I do? Is going worth the risk? How can I minimize that risk?

EDIT: I forgot to add that I'm somewhat okay with having anxiety attacks or running out of social skills in front of people if that's unavoidable (even though it's best NOT to do that because we're no fun to be around when these things happen). But I do NOT want to have a full meltdown in front of these people...NO WAY. It's dangerous and it will be really hard for me to stop, and although I haven't had one in a long time and I've gotten good at prevention, I feel like this might be a high-risk time for me to have a meltdown.

It's hard to rely on others when their sense of scheduling does not match yours; it's hard for me to not know something like that too. Have you expressed your concern (not the details, but how the details ((or their apparent aloofness to detailsand how it impacts you))) to your friend, and do they understand you well enough to appreciate how important it is to you? Sometimes I might think people should intuitively understand my unique needs, but have come to understand most don't unless I say something.

As for going or not going, I think one should be in touch with their limits. If you really need some downtime, it may be better to stay home and recharge than to go and end up regretting it. Kind of a tricky pickle, but when I'm on the fence about a gathering, I'll default to staying home; it's safer that way. Consequently I don't spend time with people, so that's a bummer there.

There's not a perfect answer to this dilemma, only one you'll be less uncomfortable with.

Thanks for that--and you're right, there's no perfect answer. I'll regret not going if I stay, but if I go and end up regretting it, it'll be a lot worse than if I'd just stayed.

I would LOVE to be able to talk to them, but I feel kind of afraid to do it. They all know about my Autism (at least one of them's a little Autistic as well, but not nearly as much as I am) but I really hate to make a big deal out of it because I know that bugs people, and I don't want it to seem like I'm making excuses or trying to get more special treatment than I should have. Ideally, I'd be able to make a decision without having to talk to any of them about it and needlessly worry them, but you're right. I may need to express that concern.

If you hesitate to say anything because you don't want be a pain, that's just you thinking of them and being a good friend that doesn't just heartlessly take from people; and you can tell them that. If they are good friends, I promise it won't be a bother to them.

Just make sure you give too once in a while; go out of your way for them somehow, and keep the friend bank balanced. Buy them a pizza, or mow their lawn, something like that. Friends help each other; that's what friends are. God, typing this makes me realize I'm a crappy friend lol.

Yeah. I've told my concern to one of the people and also to an Autistic friend of mine and they agree that I should sleep on it and decide in the morning, to take the pressure off me right now and to see if I feel better tomorrow. I've warned the GM and the person who might be picking me up and I'll try to answer them early in the morning about what I decide.