The word "buddy", condescending or friendly?

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Maybe someone is reading this and thinking, how can you take "buddy" the wrong way? I look at that word and seeing it used at other people and think, how did they not think that was condescending? Maybe more people who I haven't cared for have used the word and that's where I'm coming from, but I'm really not sure. Regardless if it's a family member or best friend I can not hear that word without crawling in my skin and wanting to cut contacts with whoever on the spot. I've been trying to train my brain to not swell up and melt when I hear it used but that's only working to a point. I've borderline snapped on a friend and a family member because I had already told them don't ever direct that word at me. Two months later I get hit with it again by the same person. I avoid certain people who I know might toss that word around. A lot of times things are probably in my head more than I think they are but this is one of those situations that I can't shake away or imagine how something so negative to me is actually "being friendly". I hear the word 9 times out of 10 being used to put someone down in a heated debate or towards someone that really is not liked but then coming from the same person that word is now supposed to be friendly? I don't hear people being called a slut left and right then being explained how being called a slut is now a sign of friendliness.

I have the same issue with a couple other words like "honey", "dear", ect. but even these words at times I hear and see being used in a completely genuine way.

Is this something that has been entirely in my head for years or are my nerves getting shot over this right to do so? I'll add a poll to this but please feel free to write your opinion!

The use of 'buddy' in your example reminds of this clip:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuQK6t2Esng[/youtube]

It really depends on who is using it and how they say it. I had a respite provider for a while who took me two and from the bus and called all of her clients "Buddies." She also referred to my friends as buddies when she told me to go call them after proving that she did not want to have anything to do with me.

Then you have someone who talks to someone with Autism using the high voice and going "Hi buddy." I have done it to someone on the spectrum who I have felt is functioning like a child.

Finally you have someone who talks like an adult who says "I have a buddy of mine who wants to go fishing and etc."

So again it really depends on who using the term.

Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 21 Apr 2014, 2:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

To me, it's almost always used in a condescending manner. It is a way of talking down to someone. It's a way to address a child, not an adult. I feel it is the same as addressing someone as dxxbxxs.

I don't think I've ever heard buddy be used in a condescending way, however little-buddy is condescending always.

Haha, this is the first thing I think of too!

As Summer_Twilight said, it is all about context. But as someone who has had a long history of being around people with developmental differences, I hear it often towards people with intellectual disabilities (almost always towards guys). People use it because it's supposedly endearing, but the reality is, it can be patronizing. I personally never use this word in this context as I don't want anyone, disability or not, to feel like they are being patronized.

It all depends on how the person uses the term and how they are addressing it to other people. Most of the time, I technically don't mind it.

Don't get me wrong, I've heard the word used in a friendly way or to talk about a friend you know but what I'm mainly getting at is the majority of the time it's used. I know one guy who goes out of his way to make sure it doesn't come off in a down-talking way but this is not at all the case most of the time I hear it used. I agree that it can be used in a non-condescending way but I agree even more that it's most of the time used to talk down to a child or to someone your putting yourself above. I don't understand how someone can do that. Maybe I'm giving myself more credit than I should but I've always tried to be the one to try and make people feel comfortable and accepted, especially people who don't usually get that treatment. I wouldn't be able to get out of bed the next morning if I talked down to someone with that word, I despise the word that much. If there is no other word, or the person's name, that you can use in place of a word that is often used to talk down to someone, you shouldn't be around that person at all.

for my son and I, it's a term of endearment. I started calling him 'buddy' when he was a little boy

now he's 24. Most of our phone calls are initiated by him (since he has a life and I don't)
When I see it's him calling, I always answer the phone "hey buddy".

In fact I call him buddy so much that if I call him by his real name he must know there is a problem
(note to self: do not give son a complex by never using his real name unless I'm pissed about something)

I've always considered being called buddy a good thing .. but i'm also Canadian, and uh yeah that south park clip pretty much sum's up our cultural differences.

If someone wanted to call you out in a condescending way as far as I can tell there are way more direct words used (and a lot of them!) .

I wouldn't take it personally and if you really do think they are trying to be condescending then I don't think it's inappropriate at all to ask them in a polite way what they meant.

If they were trying to be rude to you then calling them out on it isn't rude because they were just rude to you and it might teach them how not to treat people (even if they don't like that person).

If they meant it in a positive way asking them what they meant is just showing them that you care what they say/think of you and that show's to them that you'd like to be just as friendly with them as they were to you by calling you buddy and that's how friendship's can bud, when two people can identify with each other that they care about the other person's feeling's.

My greeting to almost everyone is 'hey bud' (bit different from buddy) and it's a quick measure of whether that person want's to talk to me or not. The only hiccup there is that some women don't get that i'm not trying to call them a guy, I consider 'bud' and 'buddy' ubiquitous to both genders. Most of the women that get upset by being called bud tend to be really uptight people who i'd rather not form a friendship with anyways *shrug*