what's the use of socializing with neurotypicals?

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When you sosialize with neurotypicals, what do you get out of it? I'm asking because frankly, I don't understand it. I myself have a tight-knit asperger support group and mainly socialize with other aspies from it

Finding job opportunities, cheap housing, a friend-with-benefits, or a quiet restaurant where the staff doesn't hassle you every five minutes.

That's a very broad question... I have other things in common with the NT people I'm friends with, be that things we're interested in, or views on life or what have you. I like them and enjoy their company. I've built up connections with people over time and it would be sad to lose that just because we don't have this one thing in common.

i married an NT.

i think these are unneccesary answers to an actually decent question i've been just about as curious myself, if not as much as you, the poster.

let me try to help out.
are you in college or high school?
if possible join a club that highly interests you like art, cinema, LGBT activism, et cetera.
try to find an NT who's not afraid to accept people for who they are; who's kind of geeky and somewhat shy themselves (but not in a way that they entirely keep to themselves or slip away to find their own type of friend quickly).
and be patient. very patient. even NTs of the same sex as you need time to get to know you, as i've noticed some reply to similar posts.
and when you get to talking to them, start with basic small talk...not boring stuff like weather and anything associated with you directly (TRUST ME, keep it in the way that lets you get to know them first). actually what i put in parentheses is actually too important for that but you get my idea hopefully.
eventually, start by asking if you can join them for a study group, or if it's a distant friend you didn't really make in any important class in particular, or the former even, see if you can have coffee or lunch with them. one step at a time.
and when you come back to classes or see them again, please don't overwhelm them. keep the convos on their side of the tennis match mostly, asking how their day was, what they think of the latest thing that happened at school, not neccessary what happened to you, or automatically making complaints about yourself, unless you need a shoulder to complain on concerning something you need help dealing with, and this will be even more OK further down the line.
and also let me add before i stop, the first few days you get to know someone in class, don't expect them to sit right next to you or that further pushes them away from your bounds, automatically decreasing your opportunity to have a real relationship with that person, especially if you look sullen to them as a reaction and/or do it numeorous times.

i don't want to overwhelm you either, so i'll just say when you make friends at work a lot of what i said earlier is applicable; stay patient, be slow with giving them the impression of you and things will work out...guaranteed. hopes up.
hope all that helped!

c.lamb

i dunno, to me, an understanding NT buddy can be my passport to the outside world. and there is a big world out there outside of just people like us. and some of that can be utilitarian.. jobs/networking.. finding good deals/shopping/places to live.. but a lot of that can be less obviously or materially beneficial, too. i mean, why assume that your good friends will all be AS folks? all it takes is an open mind, which shouldn't require that the person share all your conditions and cirumstances. in fact, people with really open minds can bridge across that stuff without having shared your experiences. but it probably also takes a bit of open mindedness on our parts, too. and that's where i have problems at times. i just wanna do things my way a lot of the time.. and i lose patience with people who are actually being very cool toward me. that's regrettable, i think.
i think that AS-NT friendship usually requires compromise and understanding.. not that it should be this big diplomatic process that we have to consciously think about all the time.. but still, it does take a bit of effort and restraint in some ways. so i can understand your preference for befriending other AS folk.. but i just wanna say, to myself as much as you, there's a big world out there that we might be missing out on.

as a person who is very social with both aspies and nuerotypicals, i will try to answer.

1. what do i get out of it? i guess the same thing you get from socializing with aspies. a moment of interesting engaging conversation or something that can lead into a meaningful friendship.

2. not all nuerotypicals are misunderstanding closed-minded jerks. a good amount of them are, but many of them are good people. NT's aren't aliens - they're human being too.

3. just because a person is aspie does not mean they are automatically compatible. though i get along with most of them, some aspies i find annoying and hard to relate to.

4. i don't pay much regard to labels such as "NT" and "Aspies". Every person is different. Yes, an NT is different from an Aspie, but not too much more than a person is different from another person.

5. an overwhelming majority of people are not aspies. i'm not going to ignore almost the entire population to only focus on a minority. i like being able to reach out to all kinds of people.

I agree, if you are ever going to run a business or contract work, you need to be close knit with people who aren't on the spectrum and get along with them reasonably well and getting along with your landlord and neighbors can also make life easier.

I'm just friends with people I have things in common with. Sometimes they turn out to be aspies, and sometimes Neurotypicals.

I do find that the NTs I hang out with generally tend to be of the eccentric variety. For the most part.

It probably helps that I go to an art college, where people are pretty open-minded.

The same stuff you "get out of" socialising with anyone.

NTs are the portal in the normal world; i socialise with them to get assistance and/or guidance should i need it.

NT's are not evil as some people on this site make them out to be. NT seems to have become a slur directed at those who don't have AS. I actually get along with NT's just fine, better than most people with AS that I've met. I've met maybe about 10 people who have it, and only one was I was able to get along with. Just because you have a mental issue doesn't mean you're gonna get along. If I refused to talk to NT's I wouldn't have any of the friends that I have today and I have some pretty great friends. And truth be told NT is used incorrectly anyway. The term NT in my mind always meant someone who didn't have a mental "problem". A completely "normal" person so to speak. Bipolar people in my eyes aren't "NT", neither are those with ADD, schizophrenia or a host of other mental conditions.

They happen to be like 99% of the population?

Ah yes, didn't think about that one at all. I have my coach and my therapist to help me with those things, but if I hadn't, that would be a really good cause why I would need the help of my family/few nt friends

I don't really agree with that. When I socialize with other aspies, I don't have to be careful of saying something socially wrong and I don't have to try to figure out what the other person really means

Because you can't learn if you limit your learning experiences. I don't believe that we can't learn social skills, it's just harder, takes longer, and doesn't come naturally. It's like learning anything, you got to keep trying to start getting it