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Joshandspot
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 7 Apr 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 173
Location: Nyack, NY

17 May 2007, 11:11 pm

I have a little problem and was wondering if anyone has any advice on the issue. I have a friend who, years ago, was a good friend but nevertheless used me occasionly when he needed something. I accepted this because he was still fun to be around and took me to a bunch of fun parties/places. Over time, tho, i became more and more of a last resort which seemed to work because all of his other friends would always bail on him. Since I don't have that many friends I accepted this for what it was and was still able to have fun with him. There was a period of time when he barely called me because all his other friends were around altho perhaps i made a bigger deal out of this then it was because i always make bigger deals out of things then they are. Now its 2 years later and the tables have sorta turned and all those friends he used to choose to hang out with instead of me are gone and hes calling me constantly to hang out. Realistically i know that i shouldnt allow myself to be a last resort but its in many ways better than hanging out by yourself and hanging out with him is fun. Another side of me wants to say what goes around comes around and prove it. I don't know whether its worth hanging out with him and possibly taking away some of my dignity or not and being bored at home. Looking at it through my point of view, is there any advice anyone can offer?



Mitch8817
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Joined: 3 Apr 2006
Age: 36
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Posts: 1,881
Location: Victoria, Australia

17 May 2007, 11:32 pm

Josh, a true friendship is one of a natural reciprocation. He shouldn't be using you, that is not a true friendship. He is taking you for granted and you let him - reinforcing this. I know it's great to feel needed and wanted, but the way he has gone about everything is really poor - it's really betrayal.

I suggest telling him how you feel - you don't have anything to lose - if he decides to not be your friend anymore then you can understand what kind of a 'friendship' it really was. If anything, you will gain some understanding to his seemingly selfish behaviour - perhaps even inciting some change?


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